War of Roses
by Light-of-Halo
Summary: COMPLETE!:: When premenitions of the future and the consequences of the past clash, and leave Spike in a wake of devestation, will he ever find peace? SxF please no flames!
1. Reoccuring Reality

*^^* hey guys! Well this is fic, will either be really good and you will love it, or it will fail miserably and you will flame me for eternity. -.-;; Please don't flame, unless it is of upmost importance. Anyway this is a SxF fic... And I really hope you like it!!! please R&R!!!!!!

  


Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop or any of it's characters, this applies for the entire Fic.

  


Reoccurring reality

  


"Julia run!" I sprinted down the rain soaked alleyway, pulling along Julia by her arm. The rain poured out of the heavens as if all the angels were crying at once. I turned around and with my free hand shot over my shoulder at the man shooting madly at us. I felt bullets fly past me one grazing my left arm and face. I returned fire I second time only to realize my clip was out. I frowned as I half slipped half flung myself around a corner and ducked behind some crates protecting Julia while I did so. I pulled her down the alleyway only to figure out that it was a dead end.

  


"Julia no matter what happens I want you to know I love you." I sputtered looking at her standing there in the rain.

  


"Spike…" Julia looked back at me, although her piercing eyes seemed to go right through me, like an arrow. She is so beautiful, so stunning, an unreachable beauty. Her smile, how beautiful, and yet how melancholy, it almost makes you gasp. I noticed her turn her head ever so slightly as I saw the leader of the gang behind me holding a gun to my head

  


"Spike, life is just a dream." Julia said almost coolly from behind me. Those words flooded my head from behind like a wave as I helplessly gazed at the man. He pulled the trigger, but I couldn't move, my feet were like cement beneath me. Some reason I couldn't move my arms. I saw the bullet in slow motion as it came right toward my face like an oncoming train. I heard the man say…

  


"Spike, Faye, Ed food!" Jet rang out loudly so that everyone (in a fifty mile radius) could hear that there was in fact food. I jumped off the couch like wildcat. I looked all around me, and saw that I had fell asleep on the couch again. That was the fifth time I had had that dream and every time I get shot, but I am with Julia, so does it really matter?

  


I looked up to see Ed's amber eyes look at me "You were talking in your sleep Spike person!"

  


"Oh really was I?" I muttered nonchalantly 

  


"Oh yes…'julia' 'julia' 'I loooooooooooove yoooooou'" Ed grinned largely as she had her fun mimicking me 

  


"Ed, go eat." I sat up abruptly and ran my hand through my hair. I looked around and saw Faye walk into the room, she glanced at me for a brief moment before she turned to Jet. Had she heard me talk in my sleep too?

  


Ed hopped up and ran to her tomato chanting "Julia, boolia droolia toolia!" I glared at her and was about to go and chase her when I caught a whiff of Jet's 'food' and heard Faye.

  


"Jet what are we having?" Faye looked over Jet's shoulder to see what he concocted 

  


"Lemme guess…bell peppers and meat?" I chimed in while walking towards the food

  


"No it's a secret recipe, I think you'll like it." Jet handed out the food which resembled a boiled lizard with a spongy yellow paste and oatmeal surrounding it

  


"You didn't cook Ein did you?" Faye asked she reluctantly took her plate of 'food'

  


"To tell the truth I think that Ein might actually look better cooked than this." I poked at my food with my fork and shivered when I watched it jiggle. 

  


"Shut up and eat already, where's Ed?" Jet asked

  


"Trying to find a bounty…that kid never gives up there hasn't been a good bounty for weeks now." I finally took a bite of the 'oatmeal' and winced, it tasted like curdled milk with crunching things in the middle. 

  


"Jet this tastes like rubber, and candle wax." Faye put her hand to her mouth

  


"c'mon stop being melodramatic, I'm sure it fine." Jet ate a bite of his proudly

  


"Jet I'm fine, I never eat in the mornings." Faye put on a cute grin and she backed away from the food as if it were toxic.

  


"Ed has found a bounty! It is a greeeeeaaaaaaaaat big one too!" Ed smiled from ear to ear as Ein chorused in, barking loudly.

  


"Who is it Ed?" Faye asked as I glanced over at tomato sitting on top of Ed's cotton candy hair.

  


"He is Marcus 'the panther' Wildman. He's wanted for 30 counts 1st degree murder, 22 counts of 2nd degree murder and 12 counts terrorism by blowing up an apartment building, and office building. He is a supposed hitman hired for taking out important people as well." I read off the computer scratching my head. "He's an expert sniper and apparently demolition pro too."

  


"Yeah but look he's worth 40 million too wow!" Faye's emerald eyes shimmered 

  


"This guy sounds great, he lives on Mars and he doesn't sound like a guy no one knows about." Jet finished his plate to my astonishment. How could he possibly eat that? 

  


"Jet you might get rabies from eating that you know." I grinned and went to my room to get my Jericho "I'm going after this bounty." I loaded my gun

  


"I'm in too, I need the money, and the excitement." Faye went to her Red Tail and I went hopped in my Swordfish and were about to take off when Jet yelled from the hallway 

  


"You two stay close I'll be catching up shortly." Faye and I looked at each other, sighed, and went somewhat in the same direction.

  


"Spike I really don't need your help, go do whatever." Faye looked at me through the communicator

  


"Don't worry Faye I have no intention staying by you any." I smirked through the communicator

  


"Fine! Just stay out of my way!" Faye snapped back and I turned off the communicator and sighed

  


"I hope I just find this guy and get this over with, I don't think I can stand Faye's yelling or Jet's nagging any today." I said to myself as I flew over the dark cloudy city. I found a parking deck and landed as I watched Faye fly off across town. I immediately took out a cigarette and inhaled it deeply.

  


"I need a drink." I decided as I went off in search of a decent bar. I found one that was simply named 'the haze'. I walked in with my hands in my pockets, scanning the area for any intelligent life forms. The place was properly named, there was a thick almost black haze that clouded the ceiling of the bar. The whole place seemed like it was constantly covered black dust, even the lights seemed like they were emitting dirty light…it's my kind of place. I sat at the bar and watched as the bar tender turned to me

  


"Whiskey straight up." The bartender nodded and I turned the guy sitting next to me

  


"So what do you know about 'the panther'?" I asked in a low voice as I waited for my drink.

  


"You don't want anything to do with the panther, try another bounty, cowboy." He stood up and walked out of the bar. I looked and the bartender was looking at me with my drink in front of me.

  


"You are after the panther?" He asked in a whisper

  


"Yeah, what's the big deal? He's just some media played up assassin." I informed him

  


"He is bad news, he's just been hired as a hitman."

  


"Yeah…so?"

  


"By the Red Dragon Syndicate, the syndicates only hire high class men to do their work cleanly and quickly. Stay out of his way, he knows what he is doing. He is no typical sniper, he is in combat skills and explosives, any target he picks out he'll kill. He kills people for fun, like it's a game to him. He kills for fun." The bartender cautioned uneasily

  


"I know what I'm doing too; now tell me where I can find him." I asked him irritated. I mentally winced when he mentioned the Red Dragon Syndicate I knew that Vicious probably hired him to do his dirty work.

  


"Across town is his usual hunting grounds, but I'd watch out. He doesn't let anyone get in his way of a kill." The bartender answered. Good I saw Faye head that way, perhaps she already found out where he is. I can't wait to spend that money…

  


I swallowed my shot in one gulp "Whatever happens, happens." I walked out of the bar to realize it was raining slightly.

  


I looked up at the overcast sky of gray, dirt and drizzle. It was the kind of rain, too weak to quench the thirst of the dirty city, and too heavy to be fog masking the town's own pollution. This rain, is the tears of the angels.

  
  


Premonitions of cataclysm...


	2. Untainted Altruism

Untainted Altruism 

I walked down the raining street trying to get to the parking deck. I started thinking of that dream I had. This day reminds me so much of it; it's wet, dark and rainy. I kept on thinking of how that dream is strange. The first thing I notice is that when I say that I love Julia she never said she loved me back, it's almost like she… I'm tired of thinking of that stupid dream, of course she loves me. I know it, she just has to love me. 

"Spike it's Faye, I think I found our bounty head." Faye rang in with a coy smile on her face 

  


"Where?" as if I didn't already know.

  


"In the old part of town, near the shut down industries." Faye informed

  


"Fine, I'll be there soon, be careful, he is supposed to be an actual challenge." Faye seemed surprised when she heard that comment.

  


"Ok Spike I'll make sure my teddy bear doesn't fall in the mud along the way." Faye gushed as she turned off the communicator.

  


I ran to the Swordfish and jumped in. Why did I ask her to be careful? I have never said that before. I am losing it, who gives a rats ass if Faye trips and falls anyway? I put the Swordfish in gear as I thrusted upward to the old industrial district. I scanned the area and wondered why he would be in a run down district if he was supposed to be targeting someone of importance? Who knows, who cares, as long as I get my woolongs I'm satisfied.

  


I landed the swordfish down in an empty lot, and took out my Jericho. I hopped out the cockpit silently and walked down the rainy road. The rain was soon making puddles on the street and making my clothes and hair damp. The sky was a dark shade of endless gray, and the buildings blended in with the sky. I went down a trash strewn alleyway and heard a crash and a voice curse. I turned to the direction of the voice and pointed my gun.

  


"Gotcha." I turned to see it was only Faye on the other side of the wall; her emerald eyes were wide with surprise. Her velvet hair and clothes damp with the rain 

  


"Geez Spike don't scare me like that!" She clenched her teeth, and she sighed

  


"Excuse me, if hadn't had made so much noise I wouldn't have scared you." Faye looked a little confused

  


"I didn't make that noise I thought it was you lunkhead!" Faye turned behind her as I immediately searched for the bounty. 

  


I looked out into the blurry street, dismal with rainy mist, and dark with dirt. There were broken burnt shells of cars and buildings everywhere, perfect for a sniper perch. Everywhere I turned I saw more and more places where he could be hiding. I realized that Faye and I were sitting ducks.

  


'Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerr' The sound of a bullet whizzed by my ear. I turned to see that a bullet shot through a lock of Faye's damp violet hair. 

  


"eeeep" Faye jumped

  


"C'mon let go!" I pulled Faye's arm as we sprinted down the rain splotched road. Every step I took, a bullet seemed to be millimeters from me. Faye was sprinting along behind me trying to keep up with my long strides, but I couldn't slow down. I kept shooting behind my shoulder at windows in the dark, hoping one would hit its desired target. I winced as a bullet grazed my arm. I heard Faye yell, I turned my head to see if she was ok.

  


"Keep going lunkhead I'm fine!" I could see a red line on her cheek, some blood started to seep from the wound. 

  


I tried to find a good place to hide, I turned to see an alley way and I pulled myself and half-slung Faye behind a dumpster and continued to run down the alleyway to a dead end. The large brick wall made it so that we couldnt possibly escape.

  


"Why in the hell is he shooting at us?" Faye asked 

  


"I don't know, maybe because we are trying to capture him?!" I yelled at her

  


"He doesn't know that!" Faye yelled back angry that I was yelling.

  


"Maybe he knows we are bounty hunters from other bounties." I calmed down a little

  


"That doesn't make sense Spike, if he knew we were after him he would have just ran away kill the guy he was hired to kill." Faye concluded

  


"So you know that he is hired gun too?" I asked

  


"Yeah, but that's pretty much all I know." Faye looked behind me for any sign of the sniper.

  


"Someone told me the…" Spike paused "The Red Dragon Syndicate! I bet this is Vicious' work. The jack-" I cut myself off as I looked at Faye

  


I saw Faye's emerald eyes go wide as she looked behind me, I knew the sniper must have been there. I saw everything in slow motion as I turned to see the sniper on top of a building behind me, gun already aimed and locked. I watched as the bullet flew towards me; like a deer caught in the headlights I froze, I couldn't move for some reason. Then I felt a strong push from behind me. I stumbled forward, like a clumsy toddler as I realized what Faye was doing. The bullet flew past me and struck Faye in the chest. She took a bullet for me, it happened so fast I couldn't even react. All I saw was Faye fling backwards like a rag doll and plop on the wet concrete; lifeless as her blood mixed in with the water. What happened to me, why couldn't I have done anything? I just stood there, motionless like a damn fool, While she saved me.

  


"Faye! No!" I turned to see if she was still alive, it looked as if the bullet found it's mark. I knelt down beside her as I looked over her lifeless body. Her velvet hair was drowning in her own blood as the rain became harder. I was too afraid to check to see if she was breathing. She took a bullet for me, why would she do that, it doesn't make any sense. I had never done anything to her to make her act so selflessly toward me. I felt my stomach overturn with unexpected guilt. I suddenly filled up with blind rage, anger that I had never really felt before. I was going to kill this man if it was the last thing I ever do. How dare he shoot at me, and how dare he shoot her.

  


the tears of angels...

  



	3. Passion Loves Torment

NOTE!! This _might_ take a anti Julia turn... _so just in case it does...which it very well might not_...if you are Julia obsessed do yourself a favor and stop reading now, you might thank me later....and if you don't really care what happens to her....SxFers in the house... keep reading and reviewing!!!!!!! -L.O.H.

  


Passion loves Torment

  


I turned and gave a death cold look at the sniper. I don't know why I was built up with so much rage, it's Faye after all. Still, she didn't deserve that, I know that I will do anything in my power to stop this guy. I took out my gun and shot at him, hitting him in the leg as he fell from the window onto the pavement. He stood up shakily and he leant up against the wall. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was laughing. He is! He is laughing, well I'll show him something to laugh about. 

  


"You, I'd stop laughing if I were you and start talking!" I ran across the street and grabbed him by his collar.

  


"What Spiegel? Is this too ironic for you?" He sneered. His Dark eyes were as black as his ebony matted hair. His face was scarred and needed a shave.

  


"It was Vicious who hired you wasn't it?!" I shook him and his head hit the wall.

  


"You are so clueless Spiegel, it wasn't Vicious, Vicious wouldn't _hire_ someone to kill you he would do it himself. If he really wanted to kill you at all." He laughed at me…how dare he laugh!

  


"Who was it then?" I yelled impatiently

  


"Your precious little angel, Julia." He smirked. I punched him in the face

  


"Don't even joke about that! You liar how dare you even speak her name! You aren't even worthy of sharing this world with her!" I exploded as I punched him in the stomach. I love Julia, she would never do something like that, it was Vicious, he was covering for Vicious.

  


"Fine…if you don't believe me go ask her yourself." He grunted blood trickled from his mouth and from the wounds

  


"Where is she? Do you know where she is?" I spilled out of order, a little too hopefully

  


"She'll be at the 'Blessed devil' on fourth street in one week." He muttered "Around midnight." I knew that place, It was a dingy old bar where all sorts of low-lives settled. It was highly unlikely of her to be there, but it was the only lead I had right now.

  


"Thanks." I pulled out my gun and shot him in the head. "That was for Faye." I shot him again "And that was for Julia." Completely forgetting about him being a bounty head, almost forgetting about how I was to get Faye out of here. I would have thought more into her, so I went to her side, looking at her, a fallen beauty no doubt. She saved my life, I am going to get Vicious for hiring this guy to kill me, and especially for shooting Faye, then a million questions rang like church bells through my mind. Why did he tell me where Julia was? How did he know where she was? Why would Vicious hire someone to kill me? Or was he…was he actually telling the truth? Question after question poured into my head as I thought the world was going to spin off of its axis. Then I heard a familiar low rumble, the Hammerhead. I immediately tried to get rid of all my previous thoughts as I flagged him down. He must have saw that I was out of sorts when he landed.

  


"Spike what happened?" He asked uneasily as if he really didn't want to know the truth

  


I pointed to Faye lying in the alleyway for all I knew she was dead before she hit the concrete, but something inside of me told me otherwise. I don't know why or how, but I thought in the back of my mind that she will be ok. I guess Jet didn't think so because his jaw dropped and inch.

  


"Spike c'mon and help me!" He went over to the lifeless form at his feet and he checked for a pulse. He grimaced as he noticed the bullet probably hit some vital organs. 

  


"Spike, how could you let this happen? You lunkhead she is barely alive." Jet yelled frustratingly. That question pounded in my head like a hammer pounds in a nail. How could I have let this happen? I reviewed what recently happened in my mind, she took the bullet for me, that was my only excuse the only excuse that I had for letting my comrade down, I would feel even lower if I didn't have so many things on my mind.

  


"She took the damn bullet for me Jet, now leave me alone I don't need this!" I exploded, Jet's eyes got wide when I told him, I guess he couldn't believe it either, a Shrew taking a bullet for me. I walked away, towards my ship, I needed to get away. I didn't want to be with Jet or Ed or especially Faye right now. I didn't want anything to do with them, I was finally going to get Vicious for trying to kill me, and most importantly I was going to go to my Julia.

  


"Spike come back here! Where are you going?" I chuckled, just like Jet to ask things I never wanted to reply to.

  


"Away Jet, I have better things to do." I scoffed as I looked down on him as if he were nothing but an ignorant child.

  


"More important than helping your own comrade! She saved your life Spike, you ungrateful bastard." I could tell that he was pissed off when his gray eyes flashed dark, but this…this was something I had to do. I want to be there for Faye, but right now my emotions are somewhere else entirely, right now I am somewhere else entirely. I know that if I want to end this, it is through Vicious.

  


"Think what you want Jet, that wont help you any. This has nothing to do with either of you and it should remain that way." I smirked as I got in the cock pit of me swordfish II

  


"This is about that Julia girl isn't it, you love her." He looked at me with pity masked in his enraged eyes.

"Jet." I said one word, he had no right asking me that question. It was none of his concern

  


"I pity you Spike, I pity the restless soul inside of you that refuses to see the present and future. You are never happy." He turned as he lifted Faye gently onto his shoulder and put her in the cockpit of his hammerhead.

  


"This has nothing to do with Bebop Jet, this is above bebop. Bebop is just a ship, Bebop is a home to no one. Bebop is not my home, it will never be my home, and I will most certainly never think of you or Faye or Ed as family, Julia is the only person I need." I gritted my teeth angrily as I thrusted upward towards the dismal horizon. I half consciously looked into the rear-view mirror to see Jet make sure Faye was ok before he took off. Something about that drilled a hole in my heart, something about seeing that scene made me want to turn around the ship and fly back with them. I thought was I too harsh? I don't know, all I knew is that even though I could not see Jet's eyes, they were filled with grief, sorrow, regret and rage. 

  


What's happening to me, this wasn't supposed to happen. Was I really supposed to become this attached to Bebop? How can I though, How can I feel like a hole is through my heart when I see Faye half dead, yet feel similar emotions when I was with Julia. It doesn't make any sense, I am supposed to love Julia, and I do… wait…If I feel the same way about them both does that mean…NO! I don't love Faye I don't. I love Julia, I am just pitying her, and pity is not love. I will never allow myself to love another woman besides Julia, she is my love, my soul mate and I will make sure that we will find each other. Besides, Faye…Faye could never love me.

  


I needed to get these thoughts out of my head. I stopped in a bar and ordered whiskey. I did it almost subconsciously, not even knowing that I was moving, not even knowing that I was alive. This is what it feels like to live a dream, this is what it feels like to feel so much that you don't feel any thing any more. I feel numb. Perhaps that is just the whiskey. 

  


"Hey there buddy, another shot?" the bartender asked me eyeing me for any sign of what might be my trouble

  


"Sure, it can't hurt." This was in fact by now my fifth, I counted the shot glasses I that were in front of me. 

  


"Woolong for your thoughts?" The bartender, a elder man with gray hair and fading brown eyes, leaned in front of me cleaning my glasses. 

  


"Troubles, I have no troubles." I almost believed that myself, damn so close too. The bartender pushed a final time

  


"c'mon you can tell old Larry." He smiled an old man Smile.

  


"I can't even tell myself so I don't think I could tell you." I got up, tired of being harassed by people I don't even know. I needed sleep, sleep will sort out all my thoughts. I drunkenly sway down the street, at least I think it is a street. I find my ship, too drunk to fly I find I hotel and buy a room for the night. The hotel is a dank, dreary filthy excuse for a building. Infested with bugs in the sinks and toilet, I just plopped down on the rotting mattress and fell into a restless sleep.

  
  


_'Faye run!' I pull Faye's arm behind my own as I sprint down the rainy alley. Bullets wiz past us like hurtling missiles. One grazes my arm, but I feel nothing. _

  


_'eeee' I turn to see that Faye's cheek was grazed by a bullet. I feel that pain. Her violet hair and emerald eyes stand out against the spinning gray background._

  


_'c'mon Faye just a little longer.' I run into a alleyway to only see a dead end brick wall._

  


_'Spike what do we do?' We spin around to see the pursuer at the opening of the alleyway. I try to reach for my gun but I can't move my arms and legs are stiff. The sniper shoots a bullet at me. I see in my peripheral vision a blur of yellow and violet. I see Faye's emerald eyes welled up with fear. I stare at her as she pushes me aside and the bullet strikes her in the chest. She flies backwards and my chest seems to explode. The pain I feel is not from the bullet, its from her heart and mine._

  


_'Faye…' I turn to see the sniper, struggling to reach my Jericho. The sniper is masked, as he stands there laughing._

  


_'reveal yourself bastard!' I shout angrily at the sniper, I look back to see Faye, but she is gone, she is no longer there. _(A.N. like the movie Identity if you haven't seen that movie, watch it its good! *^^*)__

  


_'Spike…what's wrong?' I turn as the sniper takes off the mask, it's Julia._

  


_'Julia is that you? Julia!!' I try to run to her but every time I try to take a step my heart pounds. _

  


_'Spike, I can't.' she smiles her melancholy smile as she lifts the gun high._

  


_'Julia I love you, come with me we can leave together will you come with me now?' I plead, I feel my heart split into two halves. _

  


_'Spike, life is a dream…this isn't real.' Julia cocks the hammer_

  


_'Julia, I don't care if you shot Faye.' My heart rips in two halves I knew that I cared.'Come with me we can live together forever I love you.' I look at her standing in the rain so beautiful, like a golden angel. She looks right through me with her azure arrow eyes. _

  


_'Spike...' She fires the gun and I look at the bullet coming towards me like an oncoming train. I lift my arm, I can move, but I don't. I just look at Julia in her eyes. Her eyes are still piercing right through me like an arrow. I don't understand why. The last thing I saw was the bullet entered my chest and I saw one vision. The vision of someone crying, that person was Faye. _

  


Demonically masked angels...or angelically masked demons...__

  
  


_^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^_

  
  


faraday- thanx I really do hope it stays interesting

  


bloody love- hmm I wonder if she will live or not...*^^*

  


pimpin satan- you read my other fics *eyes grow wide and starry* wow a fan!!! this is truly amazing, I have a fan...well if you are interested any one..check out my other one blood red rose with blood red thorns, I like that one a lot *feels like I am advertising...darn I promised my self I wouldn't do that...*hits self in head*. Anyway, This is a faye and spike fic but it isn't a drama genre for nothing 0.o

  


foxyangel-thanx! I like your fics, but I like your compliment more...no just kiddin I am notorious for evil comebacks ;; I think I just lost a reader...

  


Specter queen- wow readers in suspense....dun dun dun

  
  


read and review you lazy readers!!... *sobs* cmon this story has got to bring in more than just five happy readers...right? ^^;;AN this has nothing to do with the actual historical war of roses, just incase we have historians in the house there will be no york vs lancaster battle to the deaths...thank you)

  
  


~your ff buddy L.O.H.

  



	4. Roses of Celestial Sapience

  


*fair warning to all pro Julia people, if you are in fact in love with Julia don't read ahead. But if you are a SxF nut like me please read and review*^^*!!!

  


Roses of celestial sapience

  


That dream prevented me from sleeping for the rest of the night. The nights to come were only haunted by the reoccurring nightmares. I have always had a little insomnia problem, but this was much different. When I woke up my heart felt as if it had been struck by an arrow. I kept seeing Faye fall to the ground, and Julia's lavish eyes upon me. I know it is only a foolish dream and that only small children believe that their nightmares will come true, but what scares me is that it somewhat already has. It felt so real, I saw her die there, I saw the bullet hurdle through the blazing barrel at me, I felt her eyes pierce through my heart and burn half of it.

  


I feel torn. 

  


It has been a week since I last saw her and him leave in the hammerhead, I wouldn't dare go back. A part of me feels horrible for what I said, but another part feels like it shouldn't matter at all. I want answers. I want to see Julia. I want to know why I dream those dreams at night, I want to know who tried to kill me…I want to know if…she is ok. I don't understand why I feel so conflicted, I love Julia, I would give anything to be with her. I want her. She is my angel, my only angel…but if she is, then…

  


Why can't I sleep at night? 

  


It doesn't matter, nothing matters till midnight tonight. Then I will see her, and I will find my answers. Then, will I be truly at peace. Jet told me, I would will never be at peace, well he is wrong. Julia is my peace, and she will set everything right, she will save me…like Faye saved me… No, I will not waste anymore thoughts on her, I cant…she is not my love, Julia is my love, she is just a shrew. I can't bare to think about her!!! 

  


I shoot holes into the crumbling hotel wall out of frustration. I need to get out of here, I leave the hotel at around five o'clock. It is still cloudy, I can't see the sun, that dependable saffron sphere is no where to be seen. I have always depended on the sun…wearing vinyl yellow…always lighting the powder blue sky with its radiant glow. It's not there now, It almost seems that it will never pierce through the cement layer of churning sky. I hate this city. I put my hands in my pockets subconsciously as I walk down the street, in search of the blessed devil. I have seen it once, I have never actually been in there before, but I have walked by it. The exterior is ravaged with various gang tags, and the metal sign that hangs lazily off of it is rusting. The windows are sooted with the pollution from the city. The city itself used to be a happy bustling metropolis filled with cheerful citizens and many tourists. Now the smog cloaks the skies in a curse. 

  


I realize that in spite of it being only five o'clock, men are in bars already half drunk and the prostitutes are on the street corners already eyeing potential customers. This city really bothers me. I try to ignore the hookers remarks as I walk past them, I keep my eyes on the street ahead of me. I keep thinking that I need to do something, that I am forgetting one important detail. I wander aimlessly down various streets when it hits me, roses. I search for a florist, thinking how could one possibly be in this town, but out of the blue I see one. It is small and tucked away from most eyes in a corner of the cities main road. It has a small sign in the surprisingly clean window that states 'open' I walk in and look about for her flowers.

  


"Can I help you?" A friendly voice from behind me asks. 

  


"I am just looking for some roses, red ones." I state simply, without the slightest hint of emotion.

  


"Really, not too many people ask for Roses any more, especially red ones." The old woman smiles her wrinkled face shows hidden wisdom.

  


"Really, well this is a special occasion." I mumble as she shows me to the cart of roses. 

  


"Ahh, I have white ones, as pure and untainted as the heart of angels. I also have pink ones, poised and elegant as the lips of angels. I have yellow ones as aureate and silken as angels hair. Then I have the red ones, the red ones stand out in contrast against the others. They are illustrious and enigmatic, captivatingly beautiful. They mean romance and death at the same time.." The old lady insights as if I needed to know what each color rose means. 

  


"They are above the angels. Watch out for red roses, some only bring about sorrow" She sighs almost sadly after a short moment…they are like Julia I thought

  


"Just give me one red rose please." that is all the money I have left after the hotel

  


"Of course sir." She chooses a long stemmed one and wraps it in a small sheet of paper with ribbon.

  


"If I may ask sir, who is this rose for?" She asks while handing it to me her face filled with a perplexing sign of curiosity

  


"This is for my woman, here is your money." I hand her my last woolongs as I slip out the door. It is raining again, the tears of angels dampen my hair as I walk down the street towards the blessed devil. She is my woman, and she deserves this rose. 

  


I find myself standing outside the entrance, entranced with anticipation. I cannot wait to see her again, I cannot wait to look upon her perfect goddess body. I feel myself tense up as I open the door and look upon the people in the bar. I look to my left at the old pool tables and the broken dartboard, no Julia. I glance to my right towards the polished bar and the worn tables, no Julia. I sigh as I look at the time, its only 10:30pm, I still have an hour and so left. I slump over to the bar and sit on a ripped open bar stool

  


"What will it be?" the bartender asked dully

  


"Whiskey, straight up." I stare straight in front of me, unfocused.

  


"I heard something big was going down tonight." The bar tender smirked

  


"Oh yeah, what?" I asked nonchalantly

  


"Well, someone tried to assassinate the leader of the Red Dragon Syndicate, a hitman was hired, and he almost did the job too, but that leader can really use a katana." The bartender whistled

  


"Oh, too bad for him." stupid ass, Vicious isn't that easy to get rid of.

  


"Yeah, and to top it off, another hit man was hired to get rid of an bounty hunter, but he failed too." the bartender tried to seem superior with his knowledge.

  


"And how do you know all of this?" I asked

  


"ISSP, undercover agent, I heard the mastermind behind all of this was here in this town." He sternly cautioned as if I would give a damn if he was undercover or not.

  


"Of course you are." I said simply, its almost degrading how these people know nothing.

  


I try to drown the minutes in whiskey, but every minute drags by like a day. I can't stand it. 

  


"Hey, bartender, what time is it?" I ask, looking at the myriad of glasses and shots about me, knowing full well they are all mine. 

  


"About midnight...a lot of crazies come in around now, I'd keep my eye open." The undercover cop cautioned

  


I didn't justify that with a response, I just kept my good eye on the door with my peripheral vision. Each time the heavy wooden door sung open I turned my head, but every time it wasn't her. I was beginning to give up when I saw the door open and in came... Julia. I turned and looked at her longingly she saw me and gave me a glance as she drifted to the barstool beside me and sat down gracefully.

  


"Julia...." I couldn't find words, they couldn't leave my mouth as I handed her the rose.

  


"Spike, its nice." She looked at me with a peculiar glance that I didn't recognize

  


"Are you ok Julia?" I asked stupidly

  


"Spike, come with me." She grabbed my hand in hers, her hands were silky smooth, but lacked something. She led me outside to the smoking alleyway. It was littered with trash, decaying rodents and burned out cars.

  


"Julia what are we doing here, lets go, lets run away." I grabbed her hands in mine as I gazed hopefully in her oceanic eyes.

  


"Spike, we can't, you cant, I cant..." Julia looked down at the asphalt

  


"Of course we can, Vicious won't hurt you I will protect you Julia." I put my face close to hers and leaned in for a kiss. I needed to feel her lips on mine, it had been too long. 

  


"Spike, it's not only Vicious it's...it's...you too." Her face looked scarred with unexplainable emotion.

  


"What are you talking about?" I ask surprised

  


"You and Vicious have to die." Julia took out a 9mm pistol and pointed it to my head, Her eyes stormy with mask upon mask of emotion. I couldn't stand it

  


"Julia, stop this, we can live together forever, at peace. We don't need anyone else." My eyes were wide with confusion

  


"Spike you wont understand, I need to wake up from this dream, and the only way is through you and Vicious." Julia said with the faintest hint of pity.

  


"Julia I love you, forget that bastard Vicious, come with me, you are my world. I love you." I pleaded "I need you I want you." I feel so hurt, why can't we just be at peace.

  


"Spike, you and Vicious are both the same. Stubborn and stupid. Love...explain it to me." She said somberly and seriously, I can't believe she thought Vicious and I were the same

  


"Love is living for the person you love, Love is doing anything for that person. When you are in love you would give your life for that person." I try to form words that make sense, but so far I don't think I am coming across 

  


"Spike, don't you see, love is just a dream, life is just a dream, that hitman was supposed to show that to you but I guess you didn't understand..." the hitman... she hired him to kill Vicious and I. 

  


"Julia you don't make any sense, come with me put down your gun!" I shout desperately, I feel my world fall apart.

  


"Sorry Spike, but I have to wake up." She shot me in the leg and shoulder. I feel the pain shoot through my body like lightning bolt. My leg gives out from under me as I collapse onto the pavement. the pain hurts, but it is nothing compared to the heart brake I feel. My world has shattered and I cant find a thing to grasp onto. 

  


"Julia please...I love you" I plead for my life at the hands of my lover, she is so beautiful, an angel, her golden locks, her thin lips...in the rain, always in the rain. 

  


"Spike I am sorry, I wish this could have worked out..." She aimed the pistol at my heart, and her oceanic eyes pierced through me, right through me, always right through me. I heard a gunshot as I felt my heart stop. A name of beauty sung through my heart, but I am too scared to say who it is.

  
  


Tell me why...

  


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Hey guys, *^^* I hope you liked the chapter! I'd like to get out first hand that any Julia lovers please do not flame me up to bad, I know she may seem a little OOC but that is just because that I am feeling cruel and that is that. Sorry again, but I really don't see a huge, well ok, I can see why some might be mad at me for this chapter, but this is my fanfic and if you want to smear me for being too SxF I am going to put out there that this is a drama fic, so someone, I am not sure who or if at all, may die so... Just deal pro Julia people. I'll respond to reviews next chappie!

  


Pleasepleasepleaseplease *yes I am not adding spaces for a reason*pleaseplease Review guys!!!!!

  
  
  


~your ff buddy L.O.H.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Broken Reflection

*Again julia lovers don't read ahead, hehehe. Oh and language in this chapter is high.*

Broken Reflection

I feel a bullet pierce through my stomach, her aim was off, she was aiming directly at my heart. Then I realize why, I see her eyes glaze over as she falls forward onto the asphalt, stone dead. I feel enraged, confused and depressed, as I look to see who was it that shot her.

"Vicious!" I look at the opening of the alleyway to see Vicious holding a smoking gun, the bullet from that gun pierced the heart of my Julia. He stood in the drizzle rain like a formidable statue that almost made my eyes widen "Wha-what are you doing here?!" my words tumble out of my mouth shaky with hate. 

"Hitman.I was going to ask you the same question, but I see that Julia wanted us both here."He threw his gun down on the pavement, and looked at me, with an almost humorous look in his reincarnated eyes.

"Usually guns aren't my style, but then again my attempted murders aren't usually women." He smirked his starlit silver hair stands out against the dark background and his cloak.

"Vicious I'll fuckin kill you for that!" I try to stand but I can't, my leg crippled under my weight

"Spike you can't be serious, she would have killed you, you know." He turns to walk away, no one walks away from me. I take out my Jericho with my left hand, since my right shoulder can't move. I fire a shot that misses it's target by a long shot. Maybe its because it's my left hand or maybe it's because I can't concentrate. Maybe it's because I don't have the will power anymore.

"Spike, please, save some damn dignity you are in no position to defend yourself, let alone fight me." He turned and gave me a look of emotion, I didn't know Vicious held any.

"Why did you kill her?" I spurted angrily my eyes burning like embers

"She tried to kill me. I can't allow that." He turned to me, his face seemed less wicked now, as if he let it all out of his system, he even sounded different.

"Why people try to kill you all the time. Julia didn't deserve it and you know it!" 

"Spike, let me tell you something, maybe one day you will actually comprehend." His eyes became less icy as he spoke "Julia was above everything. She was above society, she was above other women, and she was above love. She knew only one thing, and that was to do what she pleased, when she pleased, no matter what others thought. She never did anything that didn't please her."

"That reminds me of someone." I sneered at him

"Don't you get it Speigel? It didn't matter to her what happened to anyone else as long as she could live as she pleased, she was above everything, that is what captivated men, she was too damn above." He hissed as he turned away

"I will not let you smear her like that Jackass, she was an angel! She was my one true love. And you killed her." I shot again this time the bullet whizzed past his face.

"Tell me Spike, how can she be your true love if she didn't love you?" He shot back I felt his icicle words pierce my half burned heart.

"You don't know she didn't love me you don't know anything, you lying shit!" I shout through the enveloping darkness.

"She never said she loved you or me. Spike if I were you, I'd actually pay attention to those small details like that." He paused "She goes against love." He walked down the alleyway taller, seemingly lighter as if a great burden was lifted from his shoulders. I look down at Julia, her figure lying motionless on the wet asphalt. I look up at the sky for answers, I see the clouds were lessening from the Martian sky for what seemed like decades, I saw a small patch of stars. Just then I heard someone sprint from the side door, it was that dumbass undercover cop.

"What happened are you alright? Is she alright? What happened?" He held out his gun. I searched for an answer, I could have easily said that Vicious shot me and Julia, but I didn't.

"Just take her down to the morgue, nothing else happened here." I searched in my pocket for a cigarette found it and lit it with my lighter. I sucked the very life out of the cigarette as I looked down at my wounds, blood seeped slowly from them as if my heart wasn't even pumping blood.

"We need to get you to a hospital." He tried to lift me

"Leave me be I have had worse." I searched for the communicator, I didn't care if Jet didn't want to hear from me, I just want to get my stuff off of Bebop. It hit me, Faye, she better be ok. Or...

"Jet it's me." I say into the communicator trying to sound not as shaken as I am.

"...there is no place for you here." He said sternly

"I'm sorry for what I said...but something came up." I search for words to say

"What could be possibly be up?" he said irritatingly

"She is dead Jet, just now, she died." I hiss into the communicator my heart still pounding

"Who in the hell are you talking about?" Jet yelled

"Julia..." her name stung like a poisoned lance 

"I am sorry about that." he said simply

"By the way how is Faye?" I ask in a slightly softer tone

"She isn't on Bebop Spike..." what did he mean by that she isn't dead is she?

"What? Jet don't tell me..." I felt what was left of me sink like a stone.

"Faye is in the East Martian Hospital, the bullet grazed her heart, she healing very slowly, but she appears to be getting gradually better." Jet's tone softened 

"I'm glad." I say simply, she is safe, that is good. 

"Yeah no thanks to you, Where the hell are you?" Jet asked defeated

"The Blessed Devil." I sputter as I think about Julia and Vicious and Jet and Faye, what is happening to me? I heard the communicator click as I slumped against some crates, the cop looked at me.

"Sir you witnessed a murder I need you to answer some questions." The undercover cop asked me uneasily

"Piss off." I snear, the last thing I need to do is rationalize what she did into a literal report. He turned and kicked the wall and walked back into the bar. It seemed like hours flew by before Jet arrived, by then Julia's bogy was taken to the morgue, and I already lost a great deal of blood.

"Spike." Jet said simply at the mouth of the alley 

"Hey." I reply half heartedly

"I found your ship get in it and I'll tow you back to Bebop." He turned to walk away.

"I cant feel my leg." I state matter-of-factly

"Great." he turns and walks down the alley way towards me, confusion and anger are hidden deep within his eyes.

"Thanks, Jet." my breath is caught in my chest as I move to a standing position.

"Mmm." He nods quietly "Who managed to shoot you up this bad?" He asked unknowingly

I don't answer

Jet glances at me, searching for an answer and doesn't find one. He half carries me to the Swordfish, I see my ship got a small gang tag on the left side, perfect. I fall into the cockpit of the Swordfish, the worn seat beneath me isn't enough to put me at ease. I soon find myself getting very sleepy, everything around me swirls like a whirlwind. Before I know it my eyelids close and I black out.

I wake up a day later in the bebop, lying on that musty yellow couch I am accustomed to call my bed. I take a sharp look around me, I see that my leg, stomach and right shoulder were bandaged up roughly, Jet was never much of a nurse. I see Ed asleep in the corner, on top of Ein, with tomato's screen blinking blue and yellow. What time is it? It must be late, because silence is stiff in the air around me. I sit up abruptly and turn on the TV to see if there was anything I could take my mind off of what happened yesterday. The TV blared only infomercials at this hour. I kept replaying what happened in my mind like Faye's videos. I put my head in my hands and run my fingers through my green curls. Why can't I just live in peace?

"Julia...why?" I mumbled into what I thought was the lonely void. 

"Want to talk about it?" Jet came up behind me, I guess Jet doesn't sleep as soundly as thought he would.

"No, I don't." I stared back at the intruder of my solitude."Why do you care anyway?" I solemnly sighed

"Well, I just thought that sense you talked so much while you were sleeping-" I cut him off

"What did I say?" I asked with a slight irritated edge

"Well, you said Julia's, Vicious' name a lot, and even mentioned Faye's name a couple of times too."

"Really?" I said trying to appear nonchalant

"Try to get some sleep, I thought that it would be a good idea to go to the hospital when the sun rises." Jet turned to leave, I didn't say anything more.

We are going to see Faye, I wonder if she has gotten any better, because I sure haven't. I put my legs on the cold metal floor of Bebop and tried to stand up. Pain shot through my leg, I ignored it. I walked slowly to the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror. 

I see a broken reflection.

Fed up I walk back to the couch, looking into Faye's room. It was the same as I remember it, bed unmade and askew; makeup, clothes and shoes littered the floor and small table. The old TV and Beta thingy sitting, collecting a thin layer of dust. I felt as if I were in a trance, I walked in and sat on her bed, I feel ripped of all negative emotion, an almost scary feeling after seeing my love die right in front of my eyes. I feel almost at peace. I look on her small dented dresser to see an unframed photo of bebop, Jet, Ed, Ein and I all on the deck of bebop, Jets arms were crossed as Ed was turning cartwheels and Ein barked at her heels. I was on the side of the picture smoking a cigarette looking off into the sky. When did she take that?

I exit the room as much in a trance as when I entered. I walk down the hallway to see my room, dark, and for the most part empty. My clothes hung in my closet, my training shirts and my normal clothes. I sit on my sagging mattress, and I put my had under the bed to find my picture of Julia. My hand came across three pictures, two of which I had long forgotten about. The first one was of Vicious and I back to back grinning in front of the Red Dragon Syndicate building, this must have been from years ago. He looked humane in this picture, no more evil or corrupted than I. I guess I had lost sight of that, and so had he. 

The second picture was of Jet and Faye, this must have been a while ago too, Jet looks like he has more hair. Faye was sitting on the couch with her coy smile in full effect with her emerald eyes shimmering. She looked nice in that picture. Jet stood behind her with an arm in the air, he looked like he was in the middle of saying something, probably 'If you take my picture I'll bash your head in.' Because his mouth was slightly open. Oh, Ed and Ein was in it too, in the very corner you see a tuft of pink hair and a tip of a tail. I wonder when I took that.

The last picture was a small picture of Julia, ripped a little at the edges and faded. Julia stood there looking over her delicate black draped shoulder, her golden locks flowed down her back like a river. Her eyes were not focused on the camera, they seemed to look behind the camera. She looked beautiful to me, a perfect killer angel. I paused Why would my true love shoot me and try to kill me? Then I remember Vicious' icy literal words come back to memory... 'she never said she loved you.' Julia, why?

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want kill, I want to die, but something inside calms me with a tuneless lullaby.

Sing me a life...

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I got a lot of new reviews... thanx kendra Luher for the support!!!!!!!!!...I can see you don't like Julia that much XDXD well thanx for all who reviewed I am too tired to respond tonight sorry but please R&R I really like all the support!!!!


	6. Unsanctified Confessions

**Unsanctified confessions**

"Spike! Ed! Lets go!" I woke up on my bed in my room with photos plastered to my face. I soon heard a running thumping noise outside my door.

"Spike person is uppies!!!" Ed jumped on my stomach, which wasn't quite healed, and smiled in my face

"...Nice to see you too Ed, now get off." I pick up Ed with my left arm and place her on the floor as I exit my room to go get something to eat.

"Wow, you're up, that's a surprise." Jet mocked as he handed me some coffee. I sipped it happily, man had I missed coffee.

"Wow that looks cool can Ed have some?" Ed's amber eyes grew large and her mouth drooled.

"NO!" Jet and I both said in unison, Ed on coffee would kill us all. 

"...oh alllllriiiight." Ed wrinkled her nose as she tried to pounce on Ein, but missed and belly flopped on the floor.

"So, why are we seeing Faye this early?" I asked gulping down the rest of my coffee

"...oh I don't know 'cause I felt like it." Jets words dripped with sarcasm "Because this is when Visiting hours are. Since we aren't family, we have to come during certain hours." He finished off his coffee too just in time to see Ed jump off the couch, land into a somersault and chase Ein around the room.

"Is she always this spastic in the mornings?" I asked my eyebrow arched

"You should see her after she eats sugar." Jet chuckled as he went to the hangar.

            I followed him to the hangar as Ed leaped up and went after Jet. I saw my swordfish in the hangar, the small gang tag was gone, but that day wasn't. It's not something that can be washed away from memory. I hop in the cockpit and get reacquainted with the controls, it has seemed like a lifetime since I have flown it.

"Jet, what exactly is Faye's condition?" I asked before I realized I was even thinking about her

"She is still unconscious, but yesterday the doctor did say she said some things in her sleep." Jet said quickly, he was preoccupied to really take note; he was trying to put Ed in the hammerhead since she insisted she would come.

"hmm." I put the Swordfish in gear and flew off before Jet had a chance to look over his shoulder.          

            I wanted to get this over with. I accelerated through the still cement clouded city. I took a sharp left and flew along the seascape until I saw a large white building brightly shining in the dawning sky; in spite of the rest of the dingy town. I set down the swordfish in a parking deck and saw the hammerhead over my shoulder fly in.

"Spike the least you could do was wait." Jet grumbled angrily, he wasn't angry because I left but, because Ed was driving him crazy.

            I shrugged as I put my hands in my pockets and walked to the hospital, I really do not want to go in, I want to stay in the bebop and just…rest. Something thought tells me that maybe I should just show up today, just today. Jet talked to the receptionist as I lurked in the immaculate surroundings. Ed bounced off the walls and began to chew on a magazine. Jet motioned for me to follow him as we walked down a hallway, that led to a smaller hallway that led to a lobby; then proceeded to send us down another hallway. I hate hospitals. When we arrived at her door, 668, I felt nothing, empty and hollow, nothing really mattered anymore; Julia is dead and soon he will be too. However, nothing prepared me for was I was about to see.

            Faye was there, frozen like a cold statue of death. She looked so vulnerable lying there, so unlike the Faye I knew. I stood there almost in awe, as the monitors reflected her dim heartbeat. What is going on? I felt my heart sink into my stomach again, what do I do now? Everything about her was different. Her skin looked transparent, her lips pale, her hair lacked its usual flare. This is not Faye. This is not my Faye, something is terribly wrong, I want her to just sit up and tempestuously start yelling at me.

"Jet, has she been like this for a week?" I asked in almost disbelief

"She used to look worse." Jet leaned up against the wall as I saw Ed lean over her innocently

"Jet person…Faye looks broken." Ed's eyes softened as she poked her arm in search for life.

I counter to the other side of the bed where a folding metal chair stood. I sat in it and looked at her. She did look broken, like a body that has lost all its spirit. She looked as if all of her bubbling spirit had run out, a toy with no batteries.

Broken bits of china doll…

            I touched her hand and held it, it was cold and brittle. I bit my lip as I took my hand away. I was horrified, because my world was shattering and I can't control a thing. I can't even sort out if I should hunt down Vicious or not, I can't mourn Julia without questioning if she loved me, I can't even look at Faye without thinking that it's because of me she is like this right now.

I have to runaway.

            I stand up adruptly and walk briskly out of the room, ignoring the words that spilled out of Jet's mouth. I soon find a red sign that says exit and I find myself standing out in a small courtyard as it starts to rain. I light a cigarette and exhale deeply as I sit on the ground and put my chin in my hand. I was finally enjoying my peace when Jet barges out the door seething. 

"What in the hell are you doing?" he asked really pissed off

"I had to leave." I replied 

"She saved your life and you can't even spend five minutes in there!" Jet shouted at me as I looked back up at him

"I realize that Jet, I have a lot of things on my mind." I stated as if he would know.

"Like what?" He asked angrily

"Do you really want to hear the whole sad story?" I asked him, I am just fed up

"That would help!" Jet shouted back.

"Fine! The hitman that shot Faye was hired by Julia to kill me; She sent one after Vicious too. When the hitman told me where she would be, I met her there and she-" I paused as I tried to get this out of my system. "She tried to end the dream Jet, by killing Vicious and I. She almost killed me when Vicious came up from behind her and killed her, making her shot miss. He turned and walked away and that is that!" I shouted angrily back at Jet, I don't know whether to be angry, or sad I am just a confused man trying to end his pain.

"Spike…so what now?" Jet asked, looking down at me sitting on the wet concrete

"So now… I really don't know, I'll go after Vicious." I stood up stomping out my spent cigarette

"Well, it sound like to me he saved your life to me, Spike." Jet opened an envelope he should have left closed

"Jet, you think by killing my love he saved me? He killed my Julia, my one true love and you think that saved me? What in the hell is wrong with you?" I narrowed my eyes into a menacing stare as Jet was taken aback and retreated back into the hospital.

"Spike, you do as you wish, if you want to kill Vicious, go right ahead. If you want to suffer in your past, fine by me, but I suggest you at least think things through before you go in headstrong. Think what the right thing is and who and what are important to you." Jet looked at me with a insightful speech, the first I had heard him make in a while. I guess I should feel honored I sarcastically chuckled to myself

"Jet you know nothing." I retaliated not letting him have the final word

"Spike I'll be with Ed and Faye, you can leave, stay, fall asleep, die, whatever." Jet frowned at me as he turned his back for the final time and went to Faye's room where he was immediately confronted by a screaming Ed. I could faintly hear the words through the glass windowed door.

"Faye-Faye is uppies!" Ed shrieked at the top of her lungs as Jet grabbed her mouth and shushed her, then went inside the room. Faye is awake, too bad I am not.

Pain of the dammed…

  
  



	7. LOH's Notes

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*LOH Notes~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


(This fic is going to be anti julia and kinda pro vicious, so if you don't like it don't review and don't even bother reading 'cause thats the way its gonna be! =*^^*=)

  


Hey sorry I haven't responded with reviews I have been very busy. So well if you reviewd my story more than once *satan, kendra and foxy angel get gold stars* then I am just combining your review into one big answer okies!!!

  


Pimpin Satan- yes I agree that chapter was angsty, hehe I liked that chapter escpecially even though julia lovers will probably hunt me down and kill me. And thank you for telling me this story is well written at my school my teachers think my writing is bad, but ill show them* hold up fist and shakes it* well im glad you liked how I portrayed vicious, I never really saw him as the bad guy, I mean, Spike was the one who went to kill him, not really the other way around I saw vicious as almost a victim of his own game. I am working hard on the next chappie, the SxF will come up soon! Thanx sooooo much for reviewing 

  


Kendra- I can tell you absolutely love julia to death, haha, I am a loser with puns. Well anyway I am glad you are so...passionate *laughs at self* about my story im glad you like it so much, and I think I am a much bigger dork than you!! XD

  


Foxy angel- yes I agree that spike needs to get his head out of his ass

  


Spike- hey that was uncalled for

  


LOH *smacks him* you deserved it!

  


You really like my writing style! Yay!!!!! thanks so much for reviewing it means a lot *hugs all reviewers*

  


lobsterblue22- I have to say in my other story, Ed got her own ship and I named it lobster, I thought that was funny, sorry im rambling, thanks for the flattery *blushes and gets all giggly...XDXP* well im working on the next chappie, it will be good don't you worry!

  


Meheeners- wow, thanks I really try to stay in character, that means a lot! I always thought eds hair was pink...maybe I am just color blind @.@ well to make you happy I will refer to it as orangy-pinky!!! XD!!! I don't know I will find a good color..coral?

  


Anonymous- yeah I know there wont be any SxF for a few more chapters two at the most, but I assure you it will come!

  


Insomni-maniac- 0_____o ;;() I will update soon, and yes at my school when ever someone says tardy the first name that pops in the teachers' head is mine!!!! XD

  


Bebop angel- thanx! Im glad you think this is a good story!!! runs and throws flyers into streets!

  
  


I love all my reviewers and for some reason I didn't reply to yours email me at Varomani@aol.com and I will put it in the next chapter fo' sho' XD

~your ff author L.O.H.


	8. Emotional Ruin

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1

**Emotional ruin**

            I sat there for a little while, my mind reeling with unending derogatory thoughts. I tried to imagine each possibility in my mind, it didn't work, my mind felt like it was on fire and there was nothing left for it to burn. I need to clear these thoughts away, like the ominous clouds overhead threatening to spill over with salted water of the dead. I need something that I can hang on to.

end of my rope

            I am sick of thinking. I flick my half dead cigarette into a nearby mud puddle and trudge back inside to say hello to a friend of mine. I don't have much choice, I might as well see her if I wasted all of that gas to come out here. I tried to back up my reasoning with that, but I knew I was lying to myself. I knew that I really did want to see her, I don't know why. Maybe I want answers, maybe I want to apologize, or maybe I just want something to return to normal.

            I walk across the hall, the immaculate walls lit with intense lighting that almost make you squint compared to the outside dimness.  I put my hands in my pockets as I walk into her room, again surprised at what I saw. She was propped up at a small angle on her bed. Her skin had only regained some of its tone and her emerald spheres, seemed tired and distant.

She seemed so weary…

            I don't know what I was expecting, a miraculous transformation? Did I really expect for her to jump out of the bed and start arguing with me, her emerald eyes ablaze with frustration and irritation. No. She just looked up at me, and smirked a little, she seemed like a pencil sketch that had been partally erased, half of her was there. Only half of my Faye was even alive. My Faye, wha? Where did that come from? Jet was looking at me with a slight stare of surprise washed over his rough face, I guess he thought I would be a no-show. I just realized that I had been standing there looking at her for at least ten seconds now, god do I feel like a dumbass.

"You look great." I said with a sarcastic shadow

"yeah…" She replied, no snide remark, no witty comeback, it is almost if she wanted me to say something else.

Silence, the eerieness sent me into an emotional whirlpool

"Faye-Faye, Ed is so glad you are up it has been very quiet without you or Spike person!" Ed oh so helpfully chimed in

"Spike, where did you go?" Faye asked tilting her head toward me with curious gaze

"…uh…nowhere." Like I could tell her the truth she would be of as great of a help as Jet was.

"Yeah, I guess it was somewhere important." She said with no hint of sarcasm, but rather a hint of sadness, what had happened to her? Faye had changed, what is going on here? I knew what I had to do to make her feel better, I really didn't want it to come down to this, but it looks as if I have no choice, looks like I have to pull my trump card. Damn that wench.

"Faye…that bullet you took for me why did you take it?" I looked into her eyes to make sure she got my point that I was being honest. It is so easy to get yourself lost in her emerald spheres; they just entrance you and make you feel like you have traveled some where far away.

A far away fantasy…

"You're my comrade Spike I-" She broke off for a moment as if she rethought what she was going to say. "You were in trouble so I helped you."

"So Jet, let's have a vote who thinks your cooking is better than hospital food." I smirked as I changed the subject. He looked at me as if he was about ready to strangle a guy

"My cooking isn't that bad, jackass!" He boomed across the room as Ed started to sing the word jackass over and over.

"C'mon Jet you know the saying if you can't beat them, get their recipe." Faye grinned, the first time that we were arguing on the same side in a while, I could tell; however, she was far from normal. It is just an act, I could tell by her hollow shells stuck on her face that were once eyes. Jet was about ready to explode 

"I wouldn't be even talking Faye! You count your wench ass lucky-" I noticed the doctor had came in the room when he first started talking, but Jet didn't "-Your hospital bill is coming out of your bitch-" I poked his shoulder as he turned to see the doctor.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, I'll need to see you outside for a moment." He glared at Jet suspiciously, as Faye stuck her tongue out at both Jet and I as we left. Ed was sitting in Jet's chair rambling on about something or another.

"Yeah what's up?" I asked, appearing as nonchalant as possible

"Ms. Valentine, she lives with you two is that correct?" He asked Jet and I both looked at each other sighed heavily and nodded almost synchronized.

"Does she have a profession?" He asked looking at Jet

"Yeah, she's a bounty hunter along with Spike and I, get to the point." Jet said irritatingly

"A bounty hunter." The old doctors eyes widened "Well, she has had a close call, the bullet grazed her heart and she wont be able to engage in any activities, especially bounty hunting that might interfere with her recovery." He summarized quickly, spelling everything out as if we were two morons. A small wave of relief that I tried to hade washed over me.

"How long?" I asked shoving my hand in my pockets, Faye isn't going to like this at all.

"about three weeks to a month." She really isn't going to like this

I heard Jet chuckle to himself, he must have been thinking the same thing.

"We are going to leave her here in the hospital for a few more days, just to make sure that everything is running smoothly." The doctor summed up as he checked over his clipboard and nodded to me and Jet. He then entered Faye's hospital room and Jet and I followed.

"Ms. Valentine, you seem to be healing better, but you still need to remain in the hospital for a few more days." Faye sighed as Ed frowned and jumped on the doctor

"Ed wants Faye Faye backies NOW!!!!! ed shrieked and clawed at the horrified doctors clipboard as she tore the pages on it to shreds. I just leaned back against the door frame and Jet pried Ed off of the doctor.

"Ed I am sure that you can live three days without Faye." Jet growled as he stared at Faye

"What are you looking at me for? I didn't do a thing!" Faye yelled back, then coughed a little 

"See that is exactly why she can't return right now, she is still weak." the doctor resumed a standing position as Jet had an almost guilty look washed across his face

"Yeah Jet, you don't want to overexcite her now do you?" I chuckled as both Faye and Jet glared at me with icy tones, I liked it when she glared at me, if made me laugh on the inside, a funny half, fun half malicious laugh.

"Now that you have that settled, Get out of the room now visiting hours are closed!!!" the doctor shouted as angrily as a doctor could be. The doctor left in a storm of fury. I got the message as Jet carried Ed by her shirt collar out the door. I was about to follow them when Faye called my name.

"Spike...what happened to you?" Faye asked cautiously.

"What makes you think something happened to me?" I asked back irritated, how in the hell could she tell?

"You seem...well...not yourself." Faye bit her lip as my eyes narrowed

"Faye mind your own fucking business, goodbye." I saw her emerald eyes get confused and soft, I felt guilty, but I was too angry to go apologize though. I am too angry, Julia is dead, and she tried to kill me. Why is this happening? Why did Julia do that, I don't get it, and Vicious why did he just not kill me then too? I am sick and tired of this, Julia what happened to you? My angel, my goddess, did hate me?

*~*^*~*

_'Julia, what do you have planned for us?' I lay in bed next to her as I caressed her soft skin._

_'Planned? Spike what do you mean?' She looked up at me slightly confused, the sheets wrapped about our bodies like an endless sea of lust. _

_'I want to get out of here Julia, out of the Syndicate, out of this dream, I want to live with you forever.' I smile as I look down at her and hiss her nimbly all over her neck and shoulders as I cradle her gently._

_'Spike, do you really think it is possible to end this dream?' she asked as I continued to kiss her, she was like an addictive drug that you just couldn't stop._

_'Of course Julia, I love you so much.' she only nodded slightly as I flipped over on top of her softly_

*~*^*~*

            Before I knew it I was outside the hospital in the rain, surrounded by the rain. The clouds still foreboding above me like a looming tiger...or dragon. I feel so torn, I loved Julia, but...she tried to kill me. It's as if my heart shattered into a billion pieces that can never be found again, my heart is gone forever, and I don't know whose fault it is.  The stinging words of Vicious stain my memory forever, 'how could I be true love if didn't love you?' Who's fault is it someone please tell me!!!

            I didn't realize it but my knees caved out from under me and I collapsed to the sidewalk in a possessed state.  I sat on my crumpled legs, like the wings of a falcon that were broken from a long past fight. I can't get up if I tried. I am just sitting here, too anguished to light a cigarette, too enraged with the winds of a thousand storms, to stand. My heart leaks like seeping blood onto the concrete... as one solitary tear rolls down my chiseled cheek. Although no one will ever know, because the tears of the angels mask my tear with a million others, just the same. I silently wonder to myself

Who is to blame for my anguish?

            I see gray shadow people walk by me, ignoring me as they go about their 'busy' lives. I guess they cant see the shattered man before them crying out like a falcon trying to find its falconer. I am lost, I am alone, and no one cares any more. I am broken, I cannot fly, what use am I now? I am a shell, of my former self, a self that I am not proud of, but at least I was myself. Will someone please help me, I am lost, I am alone, I am broken, and I need someone to pick up my pieces. I look up at the sky for answers, I soon found none so I almost willingly passed out on the sidewalk, out of pain. Out of guilt I barely whisper "I'm Sorry Faye." 

cries of a broken soul...

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 Hey guys I hope you liked it pleaz R&R!!!!!!!!!!  *^^*


	9. Hoping for Perennial

**Hoping for Perennial **

            Anew. I woke up a new person, totally devoid of all emotion. I knew I had woken up a different person when I gazed up at the Bebop ceiling from my suffocating yellow couch only to feel, numb. My heart, what was left of it, plunged into a dark miasma never to be touched again. I now know that, in fact, this is what is to become of me. I'm emotionless, bare of any feelings toward anyone, anything that I had previously held dear.  

goodbye, I'm drowning

            "Spike, you're finally awake, sleeping beauty." I sat up from the couch, ignoring what Jet had said, and immediately walked toward my room for my lighter and my cigarettes.

"Spike, what's with your attitude?" Jet bellowed from the doorway, god is he annoying

"Attitude?" I asked back as I lit my lighter and was about to light my cigarette when something caught my eye, the photos.

"Fine." He left my room as I took all three photos and burned them. I watched Jet's and Faye's face contort and melt into darkness, I didn't watch the others burn...I was too absorbed in my cigarette to notice that they had fallen onto the steel floor and turn into a small pile of long forgotten dust and ash.

I sat on my bed for I don't know how long, it didn't matter anyway, life is pointless. I was just getting used to the almost complete silence when Ed stormed into my room with Ein and jumped on the bed.

"Spike person is up!!!" Ed slung her arms around me, I couldn't feel her warmth, I didn't even flinch. Ein barked and sniffed my arm, to make sure that I was actually spike. 

"Hello." I said simply as Ed loosened her grip on me and her amber eyes looked into mine.

"Spike what is the matter, are you mad at Ed?" Ed flipped in front of me and her mouth made a perfect o. 

"There is nothing to be angry over Ed." I stated as I stubbed out my cigarette into the small dust pile I had accumulated.

"This will cheer Spike-Spike up, Faye is coming home today!!" Ed flipped about the room doing erratic cartwheels and Ein barked and yipped at her heels in equal joy.

How can they be so happy over her?

"Why would seeing that wench make me happy?" I said through clenched teeth, Ed stopped mid cartwheel and looked at me as if I wasn't me.

"Faye-Faye is our friend, Ed misses Faye-Faye and so does Ein and Jet person, don't you?" Her cheeks had become more pink and filled with so much emotion it made me sick.

"I would never miss that bitch. Now go away Ed." I narrowed my eyes at Ed, scaring her into next week. Her eyes softened and Ein lowered his ears as if he had just been punished. Ed walked from the room with her head bowed, she half whispered to Ein

"Spike-Spike isn't coming back Ein." She left my room and in a matter of minutes she was back on her tomato, either trying to or already forgotten the prior events.

            I walked from my room to the main room and plopped down on the couch, flipping on the TV to look for any bearable shows.  I soon found some random movie and just left it there, I really didn't care if I was watching anything or not, it just didn't matter. I looked to my right and saw Jet come towards me with his arms crossed.

"I'm gonna go get Faye from the hospital, the least you can do is say hello before you two start fighting again." Jet frowned as her waited for my response

"There is nothing to fight over, those times are over Jet, get used to it." I almost sneered as I layed down on the couch, trying my best to take up the entire thing.

"Good, then maybe this ship will be quiet for a change!" Jet retorted futilely I was already ignoring him as he walked into the hangar. I heard the hammerhead take off and Ed's clicking of her keyboard, Ein's scratching of his ears, only one sound was missing, good I don't want to hear it. I soon drifted into a fitful sleep.

_~**~_

_'Spike, Spike where are you?' I heard Faye cry urgently out into the blanked dark wet sky_

_'Faye?' I swirled around to try to pinpoint her voice. I began to walk down the puddle splashed road._

_'Spike, help me!' I heard Faye shriek, but I didn't quicken my pace or even jump I just kept walking._

_'Faye stop already.' I anwered back, even though she might be in actual trouble_

_'Spiiiiiiiiiiiike!' three gunshots were fired, but still I didn't run or even speed walk, I just walked into an alley, where I saw Faye on the ground, sprawled out dead. I tried look at her in horror, but I couldn't bring myself to feel anything, why couldn't I? Then I heard something from the top of a building._

_'Spike you're always too late aren't you?' I saw Vicious covered in his own blood, plummet from the top of the building and fall next to Faye dead on the concrete. I couldn't feel anything, I don't know why, I am too late. Then I heard footsteps come up from behind me, I turned slowly to see Julia there smirking._

_'Bye Spike.' She fired the gun and it hits my chest, but I don't feel it, it's like I am already dead._

_~**~_

That dream scared me. Not only because of the deaths of them or Julia, after all it was just a dream, but because I didn't feel a thing. I guess I have to get used to this more than I originally thought. 

            Damn they are back. The hammerhead carrying the surprisingly found, intact Redtail. I heard them land shakily and some talking was pushed back and forth. I flipped the channels on the TV to try to find something loud enough to drown those two out. Too late, Jet stepped into the main room shouting and Faye was not too far behind whining.

"The doctors said no bounty hunting and that is final Faye!" Jet shouted back pointing his robotic arm at her.

"Aw c'mon Jet, those doctors are just being safe they don't know me." Faye stuck her nose in the air and her eyes pleaded with Jet. She was doing a damn good job of acting, I would almost bet she was back to normal. I felt a very faint emotion run through me, i wouldn't have thought much of it, but it was a little different from the rest.

"I don't give a damn, I don't want you going and getting hurt and running up another hospital bill this is going to take months to pay back if we save every woolong!" Jet boomed as Faye's lips pressed together in a small circle. Her eyes still lacked that luster though, it was all an act to her and she was stealing the show.

"Whatever Jet." Faye said, seemingly defeated, she looked from the staircase down at me her dead emerald eyes filled with a small form of confusion.

"Hey there lunkhead you haven't said a thing yet." She looked down at me half heartedly, hopefully awaiting a response

"I wonder why..." I got up and walked away from her

"Hey lunkhead I wasn't through talking to you yet!" she got up and began to speed walk towards me. I whipped around, I guess catching her off guard because a small gasp left her lips.

"What do you have to say to me then?" my face was completely blank of any emotion, no irritation, no anger, nothing.

"I...I was just wondering what happened to you." She sputtered out nervously, I narrowed my eyes at her and went back the way I came, pushing her out of my way as I went. Her body thumped against the hull as I pushed her, I didn't mean to hurt her, She'll live, however.

"Spike..." I heard her say with soft silence as she looked at me with an afraid expression over her features.

"Leave me alone Faye Valentine, I don't want anything to do with any of you." I said matter-of-factly, no emotion left my lips, I wouldn't allow it. I heard her walk to her room, I almost felt sorry.

"Spike you didn't have to do that you know, she was just worried about you. Besides you still owe Faye an apology." Jet intervened

"Jet, your opinion doesn't matter to me. It was not my wish for her to save me, therefore, I owe her nothing." I said not even bother to look in his general direction as I went to go get another smoke and to take a nap before dinner. I went back in my room, wondering if I like the person I had become. I guess it didn't matter or, not, this is who I am.  I soon fell into a loosened sleep, this time it was devoid of all dream, one of the first times too. 

"Spike Ed dinner!" I woke up with a start, I was starving. I went into the main room to see only three plates of food, whats up?

"Hey, where's Faye?" I asked nonchalantly, as I looked at my 'food'.

"Here this should explain it nicely." Jet roughly handed me what looked like a note 

_If you are reading this note, I am already gone, _

_never to bother you again. I hope this go around _

_you will actually have money and food. Bye, and _

_don't come looking for me this time Jet, I don't _

_even need to say that to spike._

_                                                ~Faye_

"hmm." I felt a wave of nausea sweep over me like the stroke of a paintbrush. I feel something, I feel guilt... and maybe something else that dwels deep inside of me hidden...Faye.

"Yeah, hmm is right, my hammerhead is missing parts so it can't take off." Jet grumbled as he began to eat. Ed was sitting silently at the table, not even bothering to touch her dinner.

"Ed misses Faye-Faye." Ed frowned as Ein whined. I had enough of this, I was going. I got up and walked to the rotating hallway, while Jet looked at me with a stare of utter confusion.

"Are you going to go look for Faye?" He asked 

"No." I said trying to appear emotionless as hints of sorrow try to escape through my pursed shut lips.

"Figures, you know that she might get hurt down there if she is all alone. " It was Jet's turn to appear emotionless

"She'll live, she has a knack for living where she isn't welcome." I knew I had crossed a line I probably shouldn't have, but it was too late to take back the words I didn't mean to say.

"Spike I have had it! If you hate it here so much then why dont you just leave?!" Jet slammed his fist on the table upsetting Ed's and mine food plates. Ed just stared down at the floor silently agreeing with what Jet said.

"I don't know why I stay." I couldn't think of anything else at the moment. Why do I stay, why do I keep returning to this place when it seems like the only thing I try to do is leave? I stand up abruptly, Jet continued to eat and Ed and Ein just stared at their plates as I walked in my room and sat down hard on my bed. I sighed deeply as my hand propped up my head on my forehead. I looked down to see the ash of the photos. I poked at it, revealing a remnant of a face, Vicious. I looked at it for a moment, studying it trying to figure out why when I look at it I am not angry or enraged, I just see him. I should feel angry at him I should feel compelled to dice his body into little pieces after what he did, he killed my love. 

Why don't I feel angry?

            I do feel angry, but not at Vicious I feel angry because I don't feel angry at Vicious and I don't know how to justify it!  I almost growl out loud, I take off my shirt and jacket and put on my Tshirt I wrap my hands in tape and walk nonchalantly, ironic to how I feel inside, to the fighting room. I see the punching bag idly taunting me. I swing my right fist hard into the leather surface, I am rewarded with a hard thud noise as the punching bag swings to the rhythm of my anger. Right hook, Left jab, Left back kick, Right upper swing kick. I circle my beaten adversary like a water embodied banshee. I duck and punch the bag as if I was actually facing a worthy opponent, I see nothing, I feel nothing, I taste nothing but the fight. Left jump kick, right roundhouse, right powerhouse, triple left jab, Jump circle kick. I backflip as I face the once proud punching bag. And with one fatal blow a, mighty standing power-kick, the bag goes flying off its chain onto the floor with a sickening thud. The thud rang throughout bebop, like the gonging of a great church bell. 

            I fall on my back over onto the ground and face the steel ceiling. Sweat drips down my face as I gaze in an unfamiliar trance, I know just then, I let go. I just let go of everything, all my anger, my torment, my anguish even, my love towards Julia, I just let it all fly into the wind like she did. And you know what, it felt good. Now I know why Vicious felt so tall when he shot Julia, he had done the same thing I had just done, let it all go. I didn't move I didn't want this to end, I will just lay here until I can aquire enough strength to stand up and try again. Lucky for me though I think I already know how to begin.

Dust yourself off Cowboy…


	10. Uninvited Depature

Uninvited Departure

  


I never really fell asleep, but I felt my self wake up. I awake from something that almost killed me made me lose sight of everything, Faye. I have to find her, I have to apologize, I have to make up for all the things I have done wrong. I got up and went to my room in a determined pace, grabbing my Jericho and changing clothes in my room. I look at my self in the mirror, and half-grin.

  


I see a full reflection.

  


I walk into the main room to see Ed and Ein chasing each other, and much to my surprise biting each other. Jet was valiantly trying to ignore them, but he seemed to be losing it. I smirked as I walk past them to the hangar, they already know where I'm going.

  


"Hey Spike where do you think you're going?" Jets deep voice boomed from the echoing hall behind me. 

  


"I'm going to go rescue the part of me that I threw away." I responded, turning back smirking my cocky grin as I go from the rotating hallway into the hangar.

  


"Faye, are you going after Faye?" He asked in utter disbelief that made me laugh sadness

  


"I owe her one remember?" I said simply as I went to my trusty, and no it isn't pink, it's red, Swordfish. As I hopped in the cockpit and took off as I realized what I was really doing.

  


The whole emotionless thing didn't last long, I guess it really isn't for me. I wonder how Vicious kept it up so long...May be he has no one to love... Love Faye?, I do, I mean, what else could it be that made me leave the Bebop after I was in such a sour mood? I don't feel the same way I do around Faye as I did Julia. I feel as if I am weightless, I am free and elated, I am peaceful yet yearning for her at the same time. I never felt like that around Julia, I never really felt at peace with her, I felt, well I don't know, pressured almost. Like if I didn't do something it would displease her and she would leave me, but yet we ended up apart anyway. I never feel that way around Faye, it's like she will be by my side, always...even though I have never really been there for her.

  


I will find her. Faye and I have a chance, for once in my life, I am at least going to try to make something work out for the best. Faye, as senseless and ironic as it may sound, I love you, I'm sorry I was never there for you, I'm just praying that I can be now.

  


I will soon be whole…

  


"Ok Spike, let do this." I tried to encourage myself as my Swordfish unfolded gracefully and propelled itself across the clouded horizon.

  


I flew off into still clouded cityscape, damn when will this weather turn? I longed to see the sun once more, that glowing sphere of saffron fire, warms up even the darkest of towns, and people. The sun and Faye are more alike than I realize, only the sun isn't nearly as much as a spit fire that Faye is. 

  


I laugh…

  


For the first time in a long time, I laughed, ha Julia, take that. I never thought I would say that, but I let her go the moment I woke up from that god-awful dream. So has Vicious. You are alone now Julia, what will you do now, where will you turn? I guess it doesn't matter 'cause you're dead. I smile as I blow it all away, down to that dismal city, that dismal dank city that reminds me so much of you.

  


~^~

  


"Damnit all!!" I curse into the empty shot glass, taunting me because I am an idiot.

  


I searched through countless casinos, race tracks, bars and god knows what, but no Faye anywhere. Where could she have gone? She didn't have her communicator, so I couldn't track her Redtail. I'm beginning to get worried, where on earth could that little shrew get to? I look up at the bartender asking for another drink instead he asked me some questions, I forgot how much I hate talking to people I don't know.

  


"Hey there buddy, why the long face?" He asked as he cleaned out his glass with a cloth

  


"Some people are just born with long faces, have you ever thought of that?" I asked him back

  


"Nope, but you don't seem like one of um. Why just they other day I saw the cutest couple, ya know of love birds…..blah….ramble…yapyap." I yawn as I look at the door, wait, there is something familiar about that door. I know this bar this is the bar I met Julia in, the Blessed Devil. Something about this place, besides the idiot bartender, makes me wanna leave. 

  


But just then the bell on the door ringed and there stepped in Faye, her eyes glued to the floor, and it looks like she has already had a drink or two by the less-than graceful way she entered the bar. I saw her emerald eyes flit upwards and snag on me, a short wave of emotion blew through her eyes as I looked at her and grinned. Her velvet black hair swung lightly as she walked to me and sat down beside me, sighing heavily.

  


"Hey there Faye." I managed to get out before she frowned at me.

  


"Let me guess you came to look for me." She said in a sarcastic tone that made me grin even more. 

  


"Yeah actually I did, I came to, well, thank you for ya know, saving me, and to say sorry for the way I acted around you, you didn't deserve it." I said in a light yet serious tone, I gazed into her entrancing emerald eyes as a surge of unexpected emotion slipped through me, warming my heart and putting me at ease.

  


"You mean it?" She asked, still looking into her eyes, I looked over her features, her porcelain skin, her full scarlet covered pink lips, and who could forget those pools of liquid emerald that melted you if you looked into them just right. 

  


Melted all over…

  


Instead of answering her with words I leant in and kissed on her lightly lips that I hidden desired for since I met her. She returned the kiss and strengthened it as I felt her lace fingers run through my curly mop of green hair. I wanted this moment to last forever, I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go, not for all the woolongs in the galaxy, and not…not…not even for a million Julias. I feared that after I kissed her the feeling would subside, but it didn't it got stronger, and stronger still. All I wanted to do was kiss her beautiful neck and collar bone. I wanted something more than lust, more deep more substantial than anything I felt before. Love. We pulled away slowly; together, as one.

  


One…

  


"Spike, I don't want to get mixed up in this. I know about Julia, Jet told me when you were asleep and-" Faye looked at me through a kaleidoscope of emotions, not really knowing which one to focus on and pinpoint. "That's why I left Spike, I thought that I would only make matters worse with you mad at me." 

  


"Faye, I woke up from that dream. Julia, she is now no more than a memory, actually a memory I'd like to forget, don't worry yourself shrew you're not getting yourself mixed up in anything-" something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, realizing what it was almost too late, I grabbed Faye in a hasty embrace and I flung us both to the floor as a barrage of bullets collided with the wall and bar we were just sitting at. Splinters of wood and glass from the bottles flew around us.

  


"Faye stay down." I yelled as I try my best to make sure I was between her and the torrent of bullets. What in the hell was this? I don't even know who is shooting at me! Wood and metal and glass erupt from all around as if someone set off a bomb. Pieces of glass slice my cheek, legs and chest, but at least I know that Faye is ok, that is all that matters. 

  


I whip out my Jericho and shoot at the once glassed, now completely glassless window trying to shoot the gunman. I feel the sickening thud of a bullet tear though my left shoulder as I finally see the masked man and shot at him. I hear the man yell and crumple to the ground in a kneeling position, I make my move and leap through the shattered window and point my Jericho menacingly at his head. 

  


"Spike are you ok?" I hear Faye yell as she ran through the door, once solid, now riveted with bullets. She had a few scratches, but seemed fine. I could tell she was worried by the look in her eyes, that look made me never want to look away. She came up from behind me and put her smooth arms around me.

  


" I'll be fine as soon as I figure out who in the hell this is!" I yank the mask off the guy to reveal Shin, his sharp green eyes peered at me in disbelief.

  


"Shin! What in the hell where you doing?!" I'm astounded I thought that Shin was my ally. I pull my gun away and look upon him with confusion and anger.

  


"Sorry Spike, I wasn't here to kill you, I was sent to kill Julia." Shin clutched his side as he stood up, apparently confused. "but I guess she isn't here." He looked around with a serious and panicking expression on his face as it turned pale.

  


"Shin, Julia is dead, Vicious killed her." I told him, tiring of going over this over and over and why does Shin think she'd be here?

  


"No, that's not possible, Spike you have to come with me fast, god dammit!" Shin grabbed my left arm, ouch! 

  


"Hold on kid, Spike isn't going anywhere, look, he's hurt and you are too." Faye's ruby lips enclosed in a tight circle, and she held her gun to his head. 

  


"Hold on Shin, what do you mean that isn't possible, what is going on?" I grit my teeth, something is happening with the Syndicate.

  


"I found a note addressed to Vicious a day ago, Vicious was out so took it and read it." He handed me the note and I studied it, only one name came to mind, Julia.

  


_A snake may have its venom, but the cat has its claws_

_And with them I will cut you both down._

_Snakes and dreams can't live together_

_So let us end this where we last, departure._

_And lets see which one prevails._

  


"I don't get it, lets end this where they last met, I thought that meant here at the bar, but obviously it means someplace else." Shins brows furrowed as he eased his hand at his side.

  


My heart skipped a beat as a wave of nausea of past swept over me like a wet blanket. Departure was a name, the very name of Julia's old apartment building, right here, right here in this very dingy city. Julia was alive, that is where she would liked to have ended it all, right where it began, she was always known for tying up loose ends. I thought I was out of this dream, but it looks like I have more to do.

  


"Shin, Depature complex, it's an apartment building on the outskirts of this very city, that apartment building is where Julia used to live." Julia's name rolled off my tongue with a sickened sneer, it felt unnatural, but Julia was over now. I am awakened, by an angel, not a demon.

  


"Julia, Im going after her, she will pay for what she has done." Shin scowled, I remember even as a small child he didn't like Julia, there was, back then, no reason to hate her or not to even like her, but lin and shin saw something buried so deep inside of her that only they could see.

  


I turned to Faye and held her close. I don't even know why, I just had to hold her in my arms and feel her never ending warmth radiate onto me like an addictive candy. I love her.

  


"Faye I want you out of here, I want to go far away I need to end this and I want you to be there when I come back." I whisper in her ear almost inaudibly, I kissed her on her full red lips and looked into those spherical emerald eyes. I truly loved her, I could tell by the way I touched her it was as if a current of warmth surged through me putting me at ease and filling me with a elated emotion that I could only describe as love.

  


"Spike I'm not leaving you, no, I don't want to be alone!" Faye narrowed her eyes at me before she cried into my chest, she knew as well as I that Julia would not be alone in that apartment building, that it was a trap, nothing got by Faye.

  


"You wont be, I'll come back, don't you worry, I love you too much to die now." I looked into her eyes with honesty, if I was not able to return I wanted her to know that I did love her and there was no questioning it. She looked up and gazed into my eyes in a entrancing stare

  


"I love you lunkhead, come back or I'll give you hell at your funeral." She smirked her coy smile as I kissed her again. 

  


"Shin we better get going." I reloaded my Jericho with a few clips and so did shin, in spite of his injury and mine we both ran and hopped in Shin's zip craft. I called out the window at Faye one last thing. "Make sure to tell Jet that he needs some beef on his grocery list!" I smirked back as I saw Faye laugh in spite of herself. 

  


A candle beckoning...

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wow *^^*;; I definitely wrote too much in this chapter, I think I over analyzed Spike too much and made it too mushy, I have had writers block and I am really sorry if this whole apartment thing doesn't really match with the actual CB. If it doesn't well, sorry but I'm much too happy with this fic to change it. 

Don't be surprised if Vicious makes his debut in this again!! *^^* Vicious is too cool to be left out of the action, I mean cmon the katana totally kicks ass, and It has to be hard to fight a gun with a sword.

Oh I was thinking of some new fic ideas and there aren't many Vicious ones out there so ya know I'm thinking after I finish this one ill start up a VF one. Comments? I just have to do at least one VF one considering the fact that I have only read like three. And two of which were a fic and sequel. blood and amnesia, and blood and remembrance, are definitely 2 you should check out, yeah no spike but it is still very good. I give it an A. So if I do write a VF you guys will at least read it right O___o?

Well I have to get some beauty sleep for homecoming! (I need it)

~your ff buddy L.O.H.


	11. Uprising Engagement

  
  


Uprising Engagement 

  


I have to admit Shin came prepared, not only did he have a first aid kit complete with antiseptic, but he had a half-eaten pizza which I devoured as I crudely bandaged myself. Faye was always the better nurse. Her delicate fingers could wrap gauze like it was nothing but air. I wonder how she is in– 

"Do you know where Vicious is?" Shin asked as he steered the luxury flying zip craft. The zip craft must have been a perk of being near the top of the food chain on the Syndicate.

"I thought that of all people that you would know Shin." I didn't mean to sound cynical, but shouldn't Shin, a veteran high class Syndicate member know the whereabouts of his leader? Maybe I'm not giving Shin, or Vicious enough credit. Vicious, and myself have been known to disappear and reappear whenever we pleased.

Vicious is good at being evil, but even better at being vicious.

As much as I hate to admit I have an equal, Vicious is probably so. Although he is polar opposite of me. He killed Mao, there was no rhyme or reason for that, and that is why I can never forgive him or even look at him as an equal. He killed Mao and now the Syndicate is hell...he got to Julia before I did...wait, was it...possible that it was actually Julia who started all of this. Was it Julia's fault that we turned against each other, if I hadn't have left...

Mao would be alive...

"He changed Spike. He changed after he came back from that bar, he seemed less cold and not as distant as before. I think he might be turning around Spike, he is healing." Shin is as sharp as a katana…or whatever that analogy is. Shin respects Vicious now that he is turning around, of course Vicious would deny ever changing. 

Vicious had done something at that time was impossible for me, he ended the nightmare. I don't think I could, or can, kill Julia. Although I will do anything to be happy with Faye and if it comes down to it I guess I have no choice. It doesn't really surprise me that Julia is alive, I have died more than once, as well as Vicious it would only make sense if she did too, I mean the three of us are wandering spirits trying to find something to link us to this world. I have found mine Faye. I wonder…Vicious…I don't think the bastard ever will.

"Shin, Vicious has changed, perhaps he needed time alone. I know Vicious he'll come back." I don't know what I am saying. I don't know what Vicious is going to do, but if it will keep Shin from pestering me all night than I guess it was worth it.

"Yeh, I guess…I guess what we do know is wait." He pulled a block away from Departure, Syndicate skills never pull up directly to the place you are going if you don't have back-up.

"Wait? Sorry Shin but I'm going in." I grab my Jericho and began to walk briskly down the dark street misty with acidic rain. 

"Spike, she has bodyguards no doubt let's wait for the back up I'm calling right now." I turn around and glare at him and he hangs up the comm immediately. 

"This is between Julia, Vicious and I, if you want to come, fine. But I'm not risking anymore lives than that. There is no use for back up." Wow that was noble…I must be losing my touch. I turn back around and walk to the building, I hear Shin run up beside me and walk along readying his glock…glock…Faye has that gun too. Don't worry Faye this will all be over soon.

"Here, I know you like this gun too, c'mon remember to taught me to use this thing properly." He hands me a pump action 12 gauge shot gun, I couldn't help but grin the tiniest bit.

"All right." I take the shotgun in my left hand, and shooting a shot gun left handedly takes skill. I near the building, it looms in the distance standing out against the other buildings, but not brightly, actually more dimly. Flashes of memories are pressed out of my mind as I concentrate on one thing, ending this and getting Shin out of here. Shin is just like nineteen or twenty, he is too young to die in a dream, besides I think Vicious would have my head if his best Syndicate member was shot down. 

"Why would Julia have body guards?" I asked to myself more than to Shin.

"Didn't you hear?" His slanted teal eyes widened the tiniest bit

"Hear what?" 

"Julia, she is trying to rebel against Vicious, she is starting a civil war within the Syndicate she is ripping everything apart. She and about a fourth of the Syndicate have joined her in starting their own revolution." Shin hissed as I began to realize why the hitmen were hired in the first place, she hired them behind Vicious' back and were already in the compound that's how they got to Vicious.

I growled out loud as I realized that the building we were nearing wasn't your typical apartment building any more, it looked like some type of disguised military compound. Silhouettes of Syndicate members were in the windows there were even men were at the entrance ways making human barriers. I silently cursed, this has gotten way out of hand.

"Shin get ready, this is going to be very ugly." I was about to jump from my hiding place behind a wall of a building when I realized that Shin wasn't there, I looked about me to see him yards away…with none other than a compact missile launcher tucked away in the alley across from me.

"Shin what in the hell?" 

"Oh, this only has two missiles I'm going to take out the ground personnel and then we will be free to penetrate the building." Shin had a crazy look in his eyes, not an insane look, but a childish one that lost some of its innocence. I stepped back as I stared across the small dirty street to the dark alley across from me as Shin prepped his weapon aimed it expertly and-

'vvvveerrrrrrsssshh' a sound like a heavy ship taking off captured the attention of the unprepared recruits; shortly followed by a small explosion that took out half of the ground personnel. Its twin followed instantly after and took out the rest. Got to hand it to Shin, he knows how to make an entrance.

I looked at Shin to see him struggling to get off of the ground because the recoil of the weapon shot his body back quite a few yards. I almost laugh out loud, it's hilarious.

"Stop screwing around Shin." I looked at him for a brief moment as I began to run down the rain streaked asphalt. The air was heavy with foreboding warnings. This city's foundation is war and despair, when the sun shines here it is usually only for a few days before it resumes its previous body and goes back to lurk in the shadows of Mars. 

"Spike are you really sure you are ready for this?" He askes as we near the building, all those thoughts I had been successfully burying in my mind leaked out. I am more than ready, but prepared is another story. I am ready for the dream to finally end but prepared to face Julia and to kill her if necessary, I don't know. I feel as if I am not all here as if a part of me is gone from my body, and it is slowing me down without it.

Where can I be…

"Shin." We cock the safety on our weapons as we push our backs against the sides of the wall outlining the door. 3…2…1…lets jam. I eye shin as the signal and we turn in to the once lobby, now hollowed out and bare as a desert with guns and eyes aimed. As if a silent alarm was sounded waves of men erupted from the hallways and were on us in a matter of milliseconds. My finger was tensely cemented on the triggers of my shotgun and Jericho as I fought off as many as I could with the help of shin and his other 'toys'. I feel myself slowing down as I catch a glimpse of the fight.

My mind can only register the images as shattered glass, figures, debris, Shin, all moving frame by frame like an old home movie. Is this real?

'Seeerschraeeep' a bullet deeply grazes my side, pain shoots through me like a lightning rod, definitely real. My mind flashes to when I was running with Faye and the bullet grazed her. That bullet woke me up, from the dream. Damn I almost fell asleep again, what in the hell is wrong with me? Faye, don't worry I'm awake now and I assure you I will come back to you.

I will return love…

That was it I am tired of this fight I'm ending it now. I take my shot gun, remembering I have six more shells, quick as lightning I reload putting all six in. My Jericho has a clip also, as I take a hasty stance I stare out into the lobby with wildfire eyes tamed with the bridles of realization; I fire.

"Hear this Julia I am alive and this ends here, I will not go down!" I pull each gun out and fire rapidly, yet precisely into the hearts and heads of each man I could find. Within a matter of seconds the men were decimated and bloody heaps of carcass lay strewn about.Shin stared at me as if he had never seen murder before. His eyes wide and he almost dropped his semi-automatic uzi and 9mm pistol.

"Spike, c'mon its time for round two." His expression soon turned around as I looked at him through a cocky grin. This is it, its all or nothing there is no in between. I'm ending this here.

"Shin, there are five floors, she is definitely on the fourth." I said simply

"Is that where her apartment was?" He asked innocently enough with a hissing undertone

"Not only that, it's where she said goodbye." I race through the lobby, casting aside the shotgun, already out of shells, while reloading my trusty Jericho. I turn right towards the narrow staircase. I see the faintest shadow of a man…no doubt round two will be harder, Julia is no fool. I wait for Shin to ready himself as I take a breath, I had not breathed for a while. 

I'm no longer drowning, I am alive, Faye revived me it is time to be at peace together

Breathless from drowning…

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hey guys *^^* thanx for the great reviews. I have been recently having some issues at home so the next chapter might not come out for a while. But don't worry it will come soon! I'm kind of in a depressed mood, -.-;; so a few extra reviews wont hurt a thing!! 

~Your ff buddy L.O.H.


	12. LOHS notes II

  


~~~~Revenge! Of L.O.H.'s notes~~~

  
  


WOW!!!!!! do you know I have approx 46 reviews!!!! I love all of you!!!! hugs everyone and gives them all money!!!!...*is broke* OK no money but hugs are good! I am SOOOOOOO sorry for not replying 2 reviews sooner. I have been going over...lets call them 'speed bumps' in my life and you guys have really helped me. Your reviews make my day (is too mushy and is pushed off stage) but you have, and I am almost ready for the first chappie of the V/F fic, probably this weekend! Now on to replies, (if reviewed more than once your reply is collective and in order from oldest review to newest) oh and I am giving out special awards for pure fun, so keep in mind its supposed to be humorous ONWARD!

  
  
  


Pimpin Satan *gets the best advice award* (btw your name is hilarious) I will be sure not to compromise my ideas, you are filled with good advice! *bows back* wow thanks (looks up introspection in dictionary XD!) I am really trying to keep his thoughts concise but I do get carried away a lot ^^;; Im also glad you don't think it mushy !!!!I am the perfect author!!!!! (is struck by lightning) owies..@_@

  


Brigidforest *gets the best outlook on men award haha* I admit...men never admit to anything I have had experience... XP

  


Specter _Queen_ *gets the drama _Queen_ award (yeah I know corny *^ –*;;)*well if you love angst stories you definately came to the right place! Yeah a lot of people have been calling Spike a jackass...hahahaha

  


Insomni-maniac *Gets the greatest cheer me up award* (is almighty female zeus) you get the award for the most interesting funny reviews to read. I still cant believe you were up till one reading my fic! (Eyes all starry from compliment and eating too much candy) thanx I have to admit I.M. you made my night with that review, I am sarcastic a lot too, but not so much on ff because when you type people might think you are serious....that NEVER happens to me of course ;) don't worry I wont get too OC.

  


Foxyangel517 *gets all time greatest Bebop metaphor award*I think I might have actually used your 'head out of ass' metaphor...I cant remember, but I like it, and yes his head is out and he is actually making sense!!!!!

  


Anyonymous *gets the the sneaky advertise for her own fic award!!!!* (holds nothing against you I do it too!)im glad you like V/F fics so be sure to review when it comes out ;) yeaf...spike is just the tiniest bit sadistic...XD I think I read a chapter of will to win, but see my comp is kinda freaky and the new sign on system makes is freak out and its really hard for me to review b/c the review window doesn't load, so if I don't review, don't take it personally...its my compy!!!

  


Kendra Lueher *gets the review up a storm every chapter award* wow I can tell you like to review because you review for like every chapter a paragraph I know now someone on colorguard and she is a rifle-person she is really good, it looks too hard for me. I thought I was being a moron for putting the ed things in there but im glad you liked them *^^* I will read your Wild cards soon, it sounds good I hope is SxF !! Yes everyone seems to say 'Wow' in my reviews I think that is a good sign!!!!! and no you did not dis my VxF idea, I hope you read it anyway....at least the first chappie just to check it out. And I am totally starry eyed over your opinion that I need more reviews, that is so sweet!!!

  


FayesEmeraldEyes *gets the first new reviewer award* wow a new reviewer...coolies!!!!!! (all other reviewers have been reviewing since first couple of chappies

  
  
  


Thank you so much for your imput and if I forgot anyone please email me @ Varomani@aol.com or Im me @ Varomani if im online

  


Sayonara bebop fans!!!

~ your bud L.O.H.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	13. Dawning Sunset

  


Dawning of Sunset

  
  


I did not know what to expect, this is a battle I have never witnessed before. That doesn't stop me though, I will end this goddamn dream once and for all, even it means killing Julia, I'd do it in a heartbeat for Faye. I feel relieved that she is not here, she is out of danger, she shouldn't be apart of this. However, I cant help but feel empty without her around, I feel as if the world is nothing but shades of gray. I guess I'm a little selfish. 

  


"Spike are you ready?" Shin's soft voice yet sharp with anger, snapped me back to reality. I nodded as I shifted weight to my right foot and we began to jump up the stairs. The cracked walls were shaking and the stairs were trembling from the oncoming fight. 

  


"This is it Shin." I yell as I run up and jump on the second story with Shin to my right. I point my Jericho to the first thing that moves there are men everywhere as they emerge like ghosts with semi-automatic machine guns. I notice the floor has a long narrow hallway connecting this very small landing to the main room where most of the apartment doors branch off of. In the hallway there are a few small rooms, closets, furnace room, janitors closet, electrical room— 

  


It's too late…

  


At the end of the hall I see the same compound missile launcher like the one Shin had used previously, the Syndicate must have a bunch of them. I saw the operator aim and fire the heat seeking missile right at us. It's fiery tailed metal reaper is coming at us like a oncoming train. Haphazardly, I dive to the left, away from Shin and fire almost aimlessly at the operator a good fifteen yards away. The narrow hallway is not good for firing a clean shot it is littered with too many people, I miss. The whole thing happened so fast I really don't know what to make of it. All I remember was taking a shot in the dark, I desperate chance that I would hit something; sweat was dripping down my face as I realized I shot the targeting fin on the missile. The missile lost altitude and plummeted down the stairwell obliterating the stairs and making the apartment building a fiery inferno. We are alive but trapped there is no turning back.

  


I see Shin crack a smile right before we realize that about a hundred or so people emerge from the once grand second floor at the end of the hallway along with the others that emerged from the rooms in the hallway. I realize that we have to make it to the central floor-space on the second floor to make it.

  


'Seer-seer-seer-seer-seer- bim-bim-bim-bim-bim- rattataaata-rattatatatata-ratatatatatata'

  


Cacophonies of collaged bullets hurtle at us like a great wave. My body loosens as I duck behind a wall and return fire. This is futile, but I cant give up, I have to do this for Faye, I love her so much I cant fail her, I wont. I take out another clip and reload as I see Shin retaliate with his uzi. His eyes are determined but filled with worry too. He fears for his life also. I am about out of all my usual tricks, I had conveniently forgotten grenades, but when I left bebop I did not know I'd end up here, or that Julia was alive.

  


I was losing ground fast, in spite of Shin's and my better training, their numbers were too many, and I was running low on ammo. Dull aches all over my body are rupturing in pain as I realize that all of my previous injuries from Shin's encounter and first floor are open and seeping with blood.

  


"Aaagh" Shin's eyes grow wide as he is hit in the leg with a stray bullet. I dive and roll across the hallway and look at his wound. 

  


"Shin get out of here, you're going to die here." I yell at him as I motion the fire escape outside of the window.

  


"Spike, you are going to die here too if I leave I can cover you—" he spits blood, he bullet wound that I made reopened.

  


"Shin, damn." I cant help him now, the syndicate guys are closing in. I pick up Shins uzi and spray into the crowd, slowing them momentarily. 

  


"Sorry Spike." He looked at me as if he failed me, he hadn't done such a thing ever "Sorry I let you down, tell Vicious that I—don't blame him for Lin." Shin really thinks he's going to die here, maybe it hasn't sunk in for me. Bullets wiz past as I pick up the uzi and shoot at them again, killing most of the first wave. I know that I am not going to die here today, not ever. I am never going to let Faye down. I don't want her to go to my funeral.

  


Then I hear a roaring from beside me, a zip craft. A familiar zip craft...I turn to the window with the outside fire escape. From the fire escape I see a familiar shape. Before I had time to register it shards of glass were everywhere as Vicious jumped through the window with his sword drawn he looked down at Shin, grimacing for a moment either out of annoyance or his injuries.

  


"Spike, so you are responsible for all this commotion." He frowned then unexpectedly his mouth curled upwards in an intimidating pose, not evil mind you, just scary, but I have been around Vicious too long for it to be of any affect on me. He ran at the crowd of half-stunned ex-syndicate members as he slit their throats in one simple slice. 

  


"Did you bring any back up?" He better have or we might still be screwed.

  


"Someone followed me." I turned to the fire escape to see Faye clamber up the fire escape with the grace of a fox. Her facial features had worry and concern printed all over them, Her violet hair blew velvet strands into the sky as her emerald eyes brightened. I saw her figure glowing like a beacon of hope against the impending gray washed city. 

  


"Spike you're ok!...but your bleeding everywhere." She ran with her gun drawn and held me in an cautious embrace, because of the bullets being riveted into the wall beside us. I kiss her lightly on her full suede lips feeling the exhilarating tingle of our bodies touching.

  


"I'm fine, Faye what are you doing here?" I asked her in a hoarse tone, my voice getting weaker. I don't want any more harm to come to her. She shouldn't be here...

  


"Long story, trust me, I wont get in the way I promise." She defended as she shot a man about to draw his weapon. I looked behind me and Vicious was having a field day, he was moving and striking like nothing I had ever seen before.

  


"Listen Faye, I need you to get Shin out of here, this is Vicious' and my fight, you go and make sure Shin gets out alright." I grab her shoulders gently, but firmly, her eyes widened with sadness and fear. I didn't want to be apart from her, but I cannot endanger her here, this place is too evil for her.

  


"Spike...please..." Her eyes welled up with tears as one silently slipped down her cheek like an uncut diamond. I quickly wiped it off of her silk cheek.

  


"Don't cry...please...go." I gulped those words, I don't want the last image of Faye to be of her crying, especially over me. Her ruby lips pursed together as she put a hand to my cheek and held it there, her warmth radiating into me like a delicate flame, I want to feel more of her skin so I put my hand on top of hers.

  


"Listen, I'll be back, just get Shin out of here. After this we wont be apart any more..." I took her hand very reluctantly off my face and she nodded ever so slightly. She looked down at Shin who was trying his hardest to stay conscious. 

  


"I love you lunkhead..." She helped Shin up as I covered them with my Jericho picking off people as they stumbled slowly out of the building.

  


"I love you...shrew." I grin as I watch her whip back her spherical emerald eyes scintillating at me making my heart melt into a puddle, I have to live so I can just see her again. She laughs and with a flip of her velvet hair she slipped down the fire escape holding Shin's arm around her shoulder. I realize now that this will end, I have a new life now, Julia will not jeopardize that further. 

  
  


I whip around to see Vicious struggling against a division of Syndicate members. I run down the narrow hallway, bleak and crimson with blood. I spin and kick the guy in the jaw while still in motion kick two others in the stomach with the opposite foot. I plant that same foot and spring off of it vertically into the air and knee another guy in the head as I land leaving a path of destruction around me. Vicious didn't have a hint of an emotion on his face, except the hidden trace of something in his eyes, that must remind him of the old days.

  


"Vicious ready." It was more of a statement than a question. I run out into the people who were momentarily in awe of our teamwork He went to the left and I went to the right. We were now in the central room on the second story and inconveniently surrounded by syndicate drones. I watch as Vicious charges at the unsuspecting men who thought that their guns were far better than a sword. Vicious clasps the sword hilt. His Katana pointed horizontally to his left the blade on the outside and he jumps and spins to the right. 'crack swish swing slice Aaaagh uggh' Like a tornado of knives he does a 360 turn midair, if that was not cool enough, he decapitated all seven. Not bad...for a emotionless asshole. Now it's my turn.

  


I fluidly slip in and out of stances. Kick to the stomach, elbow to the ribs, uppercut chop to the back of the neck, blow to the head with butt of gun. I then jump in the air and whip my body around as fast and agile as I possibly could. My right foot connecting with at least five heads and my left knee uprooting more members sending them flying back into the crowd. I land with the stealthiness of a panther, no I really pissed them off.

  


"Get um!" all the Syndicate members took their lines and held out their guns cocking them like a execution firing line. I am not going to let this happen. Vicious and I go at both angles as they fire madly at us like a cornered street gang. I pull out my Jericho and dive and in midair shoot at the hearts of the syndicate members. I see them contort and fly and fall in all direction as the bullets flying around me lessened. I rolled sideways and continued my attack as the hum of bullets flooded my ears. Then as abruptly as it began, it was ended with a last gunshot and sword slash. I saw blood on Vicious' shirt, shit he was hit.

  


"Spike, Julia is waitng for us...with two men." Vicious spat as we climbed the stair well to the third floor as cautious as cats. He was doing the best he could to ignore the bleeding on his left shoulder

  


"Yeah so?" I inquire wearily, so what we just faced like 200 Syndicate members and aced all of them, what could Vicious be so pissed about?

  


"Those two men are the men I was training...I was training them to become my personal body guards, they know martial arts very well, I taught them both." Vicious paused as we reached the third floor...no one is here. "Their names are Obsidian and Onyx ." (Yeah I know...stupid names but I couldn't think of much else^^;;) 

  


"Yeh, so you taught them so that means that you know all they can do right–" I couldn't finish the last part because a man stepped from the shadows unarmed. He was an older man and looked as if he were some sort of butler. He looked dark and disfigured against the darkness. Sweat dripped down my brow, Julia knew we'd survive that, she wanted to see us.

  


"Lady Julia is expecting you Vicious...as well as you Spike." He turned and walked up the stairs going to the fourth floor. We soon walked down the narrow hall, the same layout of the second story, and ascended the fourth floor stairs.

  


"Like I said, why should we fear them?" I asked him...thinking these guys he 'trained' are probably just some hot-shots, but yet it is unnerving how concerned Vicious is about these two.

  


"It's like facing your twin." He put simply as we arrived at the fourth floor of Depature. This was a diferent layout I knew too well, there was a short hall that lead to the fourth floor penthouse. Behind the heavy set double doors, thick with malice, was Julia and Vicious' little proteges. I felt myself get tense at the oncoming meeting. I swallowed as I pictured Faye in my mind, her coy smile and all. I suddenly had a wash of confidence cleanse me, I am ready.

  


"Ready." I clench my teeth as I realize I'm down to my last clip, better make it last Spike.

  


"Yes." Vicious looked at me with a emotion in his eye. Then it hit me...we were fighting side by side all this time! This entire time we fought off those Syndicate assholes together...its like old times. I know that we would have to work together to defeat these two clowns behind door number one also. I smirk...this is it this is really it. It all ends here.

  


Where there is a beginning there is an end...

  
  


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(yeah I know..matrix line at the end but still... it fit) **^^**;;

  


hi guys! I've been flooded with school work lately and well its been kinda tough for me to update...I hope to end this fic by the end of this month, but is I know me it might not happen *^^* I am also working on a V/F fic and it's gonna be neat. Thanx for the great reviews! Those reviews really make me happy !!!!*wink wink nudge nudge* aw... you know what I mean push the little purple button...

  


~your ff buddy L.O.H.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Mirthful Logic

Mirthful Logic

            I had enough of this, I kicked open the large double doors and they swung open obediently before slamming against the walls making a crack of unnatural thunder. I saw Vicious float like a ghost up beside me, I was never one for discreet entrances.

"Well, now Spike, don't you know it's rude not to knock?" She said in a neither comic nor a serious tone, an emotionless one. The two men that Vicious spoke of flanked her on either side creating a false sense of power and superiority that did not work on me or Vicious. The room was dark…and gray, how I am tiring of that color, the sky, the city the dirt the people all gray with hidden sin.

"For some reason I didn't think you'd mind." The taller of the two, both clad in identical black syndicate uniforms, apparently the same elite class as Shin, stepped forth and glared his coal black eyes at me. He thinks he can take me on? His partner looked like him, both had military buzz cuts and the same far set coal eyes. Even with my injuries, which I have forgotten about until I realized that the wet dripping down my arm to my hand was actually blood. My left shoulder no longer hurts for I am too determined to feel pain.

Back off I'll take you on

            The room was really an apartment with all its interior walls taken down to have one huge room, bare except for a few beams to support the roof and a small desk and chair that Julia was sitting at. This room was twisted for a battle, a battle to the death. I felt my wounds dully ache and my breaths becoming less ragged. My green hair now sticks to my forehead like a second skin because of so much blood and perspiration. 

            Julia stands there like an impervious red eyed statue that looks upon others with a concrete malice. She is a hidden horror, like an angelically masked demon sucking all life out of the air surrounding her.  Her golden locks, not as silken any more, Her body, not as desirable any more, her eyes, not as innocent as they once were. She is now no longer my love, she is just an obstacle in my way of what I truly want.

Peace with Faye.

"Look at the two of you. You really think you can take on both of these guys with your injuries? Vicious, I am even surprised you showed up after knowing that Spike was going to get killed here" Her eyes pierced through him, his eyes pierced back. "Do you want to help him?" She inquired darkly as he took one step and unsheathed his katana in the presenting form the tip of the blade pointed to her.

"If it will help take you down then so be it. Spike is no longer my enemy, you are. You will shed tears of scarlet." (I stole that line I know, but it is just so cool) his eyes razor blades printed of pure contempt. 

"What of you Spike, are you ready to die here tonight like your foolish sword slinging comrade?" Julia's oceanic eyes pierced at my heart, but it doesn't affect me any more. She has no power over me. She is not the one I love.

"A wise woman once told me the red rose means either romance or death, it means both for me, death for you and love for Faye." I feel my mismatched eyes suddenly ablaze in hatred as I grin maliciously at the approaching adversary.

"If you stand in my way then you will fall as well." I look to her 'bodyguards' and feeling Vicious' stance change. I felt the two protégés that Vicious spoke of  walk to about twenty feet from us and one pulled out a katana, like Vicious' only his was slightly shorter and thicker blade. The other pulled out a pair of sleek new pistols that rivaled my Jericho. The both sneered in confidence and malice as they rather than look at me, glared both at Vicious

"Really, teacher, you would think that you would have instructed us to have loyalty to ones teacher, but as you can see you have failed. Not only have we surpassed you in strength, but also in power as well. You are a failure Vicious, we shall kill you and your pissant friend." The shorter one with the sword, just claimed his fate by talking that way of Vicious. The taller one snickered as his venomous mouth looked at me and grinned too confidently.

"Obsidian." He said directed to the shorter one with the katana, Onyx is mine. Shorter names always do leave more space in the obituaries. "You and your brother have no honor. Honor and loyalty are things that cannot be taught, but learned." He spat simply and unemotionally, his expression so cold it could freeze the devil himself in ice.

"I will be the judge of that!" Obsidian, totally pissed off charged at Vicious with his sword drawn as Vicious parried. The game has begun.

I've rolled the dice…

            I wasted no time in attacking as I fired two rounds intended for Onyx's head, missed by inches as he dove and fired at me. I whipped my body to the left and took aim and fired again, missing again, he dodged again, dammit! His eyes glowed from his crouched position, like a panther ready to strike. I will run out of ammo much faster than he will. He then leaped vertically in the air and pulled out both of his pistols and fired countless rounds at me with surprising aim. I have to call on every trick and move to get out of this one. 

Like Faye's 'lucky bracelet'

            I held my Jericho tightly in my left hand as I back-flipped into a back handspring and sprung off my hands so that I would have enough momentum to land on my feet. I saw myriads of bullets fly about me like wingless bats impaling themselves into the wall beside me. Now this is going to be tough. I jumped high into the air, much like a swan dive off of a diving board, shooting three rounds at Onyz with my left arm straight out right before I land on my hands. While in the handstand position for just a split second, and Onyx in a dazed position to my left, I push off only my right hand into the direction of Onyx and just barely managed to kick the pistols from his hands with a spinning drive kick. 

I think I sprained my left wrist, at least it's not my shooting hand.

            My gun, now one bullet left, and his across the room where Vicious was sparring with Obsidian, was at the time a tie. I know Vicious can kick his ass, he is probably just toying with him, at least I hope he can win.

            "Why you bastard!" He ran at me and performed a perfect reverse right kick to my chest and I flung backwards into the wall, He is good, very good. Inwardly wince as I stand up and take a defensive stance as he flies at me, this time I block his punch and retaliate quickly with a few right and left hooks, which he dodged or blocked. I am now pissed, like the water embodied demon that I am I quickly side step and swiftly and deftly uppercut him and slip down like falling water into a crouch and try to pull his legs out from under him, but he recovers in time and dodges the blow as I summersault away and stand back up facing him.

            "You are tired aren't you? Well I will end your pain soon enough." Onyx hissed as He readied to kick me in my stomach, I sprung up and punched him in the face, but he wasn't nearly as fazed as I hoped he would be. He just took a step back and we started again.

            This was getting nowhere, seriously, I have one bullet actually left and that is for Julia, I cant waste it on this Shithead. This is just like facing your twin, I surprisingly am making no progress. Wait…his pistols… DAMN I forgot!

            When I went to grab this pistol, he just did the opposite and grabs the other one I kicked away. He picks up the gun and sneers, spitting blood on the floor. I thin line of blood drips down my lips to my chin where it trickles to the floor. My left wrist is swelling up and my jaw hurts from a punch he barely landed earlier. My left shoulder, the one Shin wounded, is beginning to intensify, I cant hold out much longer, his wounds are just scratches compared to my gunshot wounds.

Bump. I feel someone come in contact with my back, I feel foolish for letting that happen but I know it is just Vicious, I see his tattered black cape flow around my legs, and his back, wet with fresh blood stain my shirt. 

"Ready?" Vicious hair spins like a cloak of dimmed stars

"Yeah." I love this trick, it's been a while since I have done this.

We then take a clockwise side-step and I now face Obsidian with fire in his eyes. He did not count on us switching opponents, aw well his loss.

            "Sayonara." I take out my gun and fire three rounds at Obsidian who flipped backwards in pain and landed with a wet, sickening thud against the hard wood surface. I turn to see Vicious finish off Onyx with an clean impale, he wipes his katana off onto his cloak and sheathes it. I toss away Onyx's pistol and make sure my Jericho has it's one bullet.

"Will you hurry up?" I snicker, as he looks at me, annoyed, but I couldn't help but notice the smallest corner of his mouth upturn the slightest bit. I whip around to see Julia, gone, I know she is still in the building, but where I searched with my eyes until Vicious voice, lighter for some reason, but through the frustrated silence.

"She is on the roof Spike." He took off running, although not gracefully and light like usual, but limping slightly, Obsidian must have injured him in the leg as I saw new blood soak through his pantleg. We knew our way around the place, I wonder why, and we soon found the stairway to the roof, it is a long narrow passage that conveniently skips the fifth floor and goes straight to the roof, this is so because there is no fire escape on the roof and they need another means of escape.

"So Vicious, why did you train those guys anyway?" I felt like bothering him, its kinda fun actually. Even though I should be focused and things like that, I mean I am, it's just who could resist an opportunity to rub a mistake in Vicious' face?

"I was bored." I almost burst out laughing, that does not seem like something for Vicious to do, 'because I was bored!' was a lunatic! I smirked at him and he rolled his eyes and clenched his teeth, he knew I was playing with him and it pissed him off to know he made the mistake, not me.

We finally neared the door to the roof, I didn't run full speed because Vicious couldn't, and well, I kinda felt obligated to not sprint my heart out. This time it was Vicious to take out the door with a palm thrust, and I mean take out the door, blown off of its hinges.

"Vicious…Spike… we are all here." Julia stood at the far end of the building. The building had no wall on its perimeter so could just walk off the building, or fall off.

"Julia." I spit, My heart burns with a fiery passion, she could have killed Faye with that hitman, that burns me inside like nothing other. Whenever I picture happiness, I picture faye, call me corny but its true. Nothing would make me happier if Faye was here right now in my arms, but she isn't and it hurts. I am here with Julia instead.

"Sorry, but there isn't enough room on this roof for three, so say sayonara to your buddy." She takes out her gun, a 30mm glock, how dare she use Faye's gun, and fires it twice. Both bullets wiz by my ear like hornets and they connect with Vicious' torso and he sprawls backwards like a falling bird off the edge of the building. I felt time freeze, for some reason, even though Vicious killed Mao, shot down Gren, and Lin is dead, pretty much because of him; I didn't want him to die. Scenes from my youth and life with him flashed through my eyes as though I was watching some demented home movie. I whip around to try to catch something as he plummets off the building to the gray cityscape below.

You did surprise me…

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WOW! Talk about an evil cliffie. Sorry I have to take this time to do ANs (people throw tomatoes)

I used a trapt lyric…so sorry

Sorry if Vicious was a little OC, I just felt like adding humor.

1) Sorry that last chapter had a very nasty scene in it where Vicious decapitated some people, that chapter should have had a warning for R rated violence, I am so sorry, I was a little disoriented and forgot all about it, !sorry younger readers!***^^***;;;

2) V/F fic might be a little late coming out, I typed the first chappie and realized it was trash so I ditched it. (looks around…no one cares…wasted space typing.)

3) I will be finishing this fic, sorry for confusion, issues at home are not keeping me from updating…well updating on time, kinda, sorta yes, but not updating all together. =*^^*= and I am sorry this is like the third fighting chappie and I really didn't mean it to be this way, it just kinda happened so if you guys hate me for too much fighting, well you're in luck because that was the last one pretty much I think…

4) Oh and one last thing…I don't know the name of this city so I am making one up. If there is an actual name to the city where the whole Julia/ rose and cathedral thing went on, gomen, but that is just too bad.

Well that is the end of my pointless notes if you red this far you get a gold star and a new Lotus Elise…hehe I wish!

                                                            ~your ff buddy L.O.H.


	15. Final Act

  
  


Final act

  


I feel my right hand connect hastily with Vicious' ankle as his plummeting body is flung against the side of the building and with a wet thud. His back hit the wall with such force I almost let go of his quite unconscious body. The blood from his numerous wounds are running down his neck and pooling and streaming down his jaw line. Some blood even drips off only to plop on the ground below. I feel my left arm pound with burning pain as I pull him up slowly, Julia laughing as I do so. I turn to Julia as I put Vicious' bloody body on the building. Man! he has like three bullets in his chest. We are even Vicious, we are equal.

  


"Spike... you absolute fool! You would turn your back on your opponent, risk getting shot in the back, to help someone you claim to hate. You are a idiot!" Her eyes try to pierce through me, her smile tries to break me, but she doesn't understand that she cant break me any more.

  


"Julia you know, you can be a pain in the ass." I said it, and it felt good, it made me smile on the inside. I quickly collect myself and take out my Jericho with a single bullet. I am ready to end this, I'm ready to move on.

  


"How dare you Spiegel! And to think I even thought of giving you a choice." Julia's oceanic eyes filled with hatred and fire as her lips frowned creating a menacing appearance. She threw her glock off the side of the building and took out her fully automatic Ak-47. Her blonde hair billowing from the wind swirling from the oncoming thunder storm. The sky darkens as the heavens cry out in multitudes of low rumbling thunder.

  


"What options are you talking about?"I spat venomously as I felt my mismatched garnet eyes look at her though bloody glass. What could she be talking about options, what is going through her head now? I prepared my self to do some acrobatics because my jericho against her Ak. is not exactly a match I was anticipating.

  


"Well, I did always like you better than Vicious..." She did not lower her gun, but she appeared less ready to fight and more ready to do something else. "Why not end the dream with me? C'mon all you have to do is finish off pathetic Vicious, and that annoying little whore. I can be yours." Julia smiled a happy smile, a forced one. My jaw nearly dropped, what... do I do? I cannot deny that I _did_ want Julia to be mine, but finishing off Vicious like a cold blooded killer? 

  


Faye, I could never kill Faye, I could never even touch Faye wrongly and live with myself. Faye is my innocent angel. Well, ok, so she isn't _that_ innocent, but she hasn't tried to kill me, or Vicious or Shin. I cant abandon Faye now, not because I feel obligated to be with her, but because she means more the me than Julia.

  


"Sorry Julia, but I woke up from that dream long ago. Faye isn't a whore, and Vicious is really anything but pathetic if he shot you back at the alley before you even knew he was there." I frown even more now, Julia just raised the stakes.

I cock the hammer on my Jericho and aim it at her heart, I better get this done quickly. Even though I do not love Julia anymore, a part of me really doesn't want to kill her, but I will if she threatened Faye. Thunder booms across the ebony sky as fingers of lightning split down around Julia and I trying to grasp our bodies. Rain comes down in sheets making my clothes stick to me and Vicious' blood trickle down the side of the building.

  


"I love you Spike." She smiles her sad smile and takes out the rose I handed her that day, it's wilted and lost its most of its lustrous color. I lower my gun. What did she just say? Did she just say she loves me? Faye where are you? I need you I am so fucking lost. I grit my teeth as I try to come up with a comeback, but I am left speechless. Does she really or is this some trick?

  


"Julia..." Is all my brain can come up with. Lightning strikes down on a nearby building resulting in sparks as thunder rolls through my body. What do I do now? I feel my head reeling with snips of memories of the past days, the days that changed my life to the point the magnetic poles have switched from north to south.

  


_'How can she be your true love if she didn't love you?'_

  


_'Love is living for the person you love, Love is doing anything for that person. When you are in love, you would give your life for that person._'

  


_'I love you lunkhead_.'

  


_'Watch out for red roses, some only bring about sorrow.'_

  


Phrases of people's voices ricochet through my head like bullets as I try to make sense of each one. Snips of the past few days fly through my head as I recollect the dreams I had, each one so vivid in my mind, dreams that almost seem real, like an alternate ending to a story book gone bad.

  


"What is the matter Spike do you not love me anymore? Say it, say you love me! I know you do, deep down I know you cant forget me." She walks towards me until she is only ten feet from where I stand. Her wet blonde hair is heavy around her fragile face, her eyes oceanic and piercing, her thin lips poised in a melancholy smile. Thunder rolls behind her as if the storm was her slave, lightning zigzags and strikes the sky in a blind rage, illuminating the sky for moments.

  


I feel my hand around my gun tighten and my knuckles are white with blind frustration. Was the whole past two weeks a dream? Was Julia just playing with me and now she actually wants to start a life with me? I cant...I wont Faye, I love Faye...don't I! Don't I love her?! I need Faye right now more than anything, I need to make sure I love her. If I don't love Faye then I used her unknowingly...I cant live with that. 

  


But I know I did at one point in my life love Julia, because I meant it when I said it to her. I mean, what I felt for her was love right? Right when my lips were about to give her an answer I heard the door behind me creak open. I turned to see who it was, I saw a ivory silk arm and a few wisps of violet hair from the edge of the door, in the finely manicured hand of the arm was an old glock. The door when opened, faced Julia and I creating a crude shield that Faye was using to her advantage.

  


"Faye!" I said in such rapture I thought I was going to burst. I swear the rain lightened and the thunder quieted and the lightning was dimmed when I saw the slightest glimpse of emerald iris. 

  


"Spike...are you ok?"She spoke from the door, her voice filled with worry and concern filled my ears with unending melody. I knew that only Faye can make me feel this content and this peaceful in the most dire and hectic of situations. I knew that whatever I felt towards Julia was gone. Faye is my love. 

  


"Spike answer me!" My attention was drawn to the other woman on the roof, now filled with malice and impatience. Her piecing arrow eyes were inflamed and her blonde hair encircled her upper body in a demonic halo.

  


"That rose that you hold Julia is wilted, as my love for you is now. I don't love you Julia...I love Faye–" Before I had a chance to say more she took her Ak-47 and shot through the door that shielded Faye. I felt my heart shatter as my stomach convulsed I felt like I was going to vomit up everything inside of me. I then saw Julia turn the gun on me and press the trigger, but I still had my one shot and I will kill Julia, she will die for what she has done! I take my Jericho and pull the trigger as multiple bullets pierce my chest like cannon fire. I see my bullet hit it's mark right between the eyes and she falls heavy like some slayed demon.

  


I feel all the rest of my blood flow from me as I crawl towards Faye, she is lying on the ground, bleeding from multiple bullet wounds, but still conscious. I wrap my arms around her weakening body as I pull myself closer, I am crying, I feel two tears fall down my face. These tears are more tragic than any angel tears can be, I am losing the one I love, before I could even show her my love, prove to her I love her.

  


"Faye please speak to me." I look down into her slowly glassing over eyes, her ruby lips have a ruby stream of blood coming out of them. Her hair was splayed out around her like a oriental fan I see her chest move up and down. She smiles ever so faintly at me, masking her pain.

  


"I love you too lunkhead." She smiles as she kisses my lips gently, I kiss her back praying to whatever God there is that this wont be the end, I don't want Faye to die here. Please take me, but don't take her.

  


_'Love is living for the person you love, Love is doing anything for that person. When you are in love you would give your life for that person._'

  


"Shrew...you just keep coming back don't you?" I laugh slightly as I spit blood on the roof of departure, If I am dying I might as well go down with a little humor, right?

  


"Lunkhead. You can do anything right can you?" She laughs back as I run my bloody fingers through her lush hair. I feel her hand cup my cheek and I take my hand and hold it there, our hands throbbing with our last heartbeats. 

  


"Faye I love ya, and I am sorry I couldn't...see that before." I cockeye grin at her as She looks at me with pain in her eyes as our blood intertwines on the roof, becoming one.

  


I feel myself growing sleepy, very very sleepy. My weighted eyelids are closing fast. I have to hold on though I have to tell her something, She has to live even though I wont. The pain inside me has taken over every sense, sight, hearing feeling smell and taste all read blood. I see her, like a fallen angel without her wings or halo. Her sides are bleeding profusely and so is her right leg and arm. Her eyes are still sparkling though, hiding everything away like a curtain over a stage.

  


"Spike don't worry we will pull through this, I wont let Julia win you I– " she coughs, but not blood "She wont win." her tone serious but I can tell that she doesn't know how to do what she just said to do. I love her I do but I cant stay awake any longer. This feeling of sleepy anguish is something I have never felt before, I guess it death, because I have never died before. I don't want faye to feel this I have to tell her before I go.

  


"Faye–" I weeze and cough more blood What is up with all this blood? "I want you to know that Julia has nothing on you." I smirk my trade mark grin and her eyes widen and soften as she tries to hold back small laughter.

  


"Spike I'll get you out of here I will." Faye frowns and looks at me with tears in her eyes as they stream down like liquid diamonds.

  


"Smile for me." I grin slightly, as the corners of her ruby lips turn upward, her spherical emerald eyes shine and a bight light fills the area. She smiling like the archangel that she is; I want to remember her just like that.

  


"Thank you Faye." My eyes close and my body falls limp on the roof of departure. The clouds are still raining as I see myself fall into a vortex of darkness, everything swirling, everything moving so fast I cant keep up. I cant feel pain, I cant move I cant breathe I cant see, all I feel is lost. The vortex gets darker and darker still as I see people swirl about me too, lost and afraid.

  


Mao

  


Lin

  


Vicious

Julia

  


Faye 

  


All of them just drifting some still bleeding, others not. I see them swirling about me, I am unable to reach out to them, I cant move I am so hurt, so lost, so angry that I am dying. I don't want to die I don't. I want to live for once in my life Godammit! I want to live. Then as if things couldn't get any worse, one by one they left me.

  


First Mao, then Lin, then Julia all vanished. Then Vicious dissipated slowly....and god no Faye don't leave me too! Faye cant die, she just cant, Julia cant win!!! I feel myself reach out to her to try to grab her back to me, but I cant move. My body is stiff and cold. I see her dissipate away slowly just like all the others, they left me I left them. I am alone, left alone to drift here in the spinning void, neither dead or alive. Why cant I just live or die, please either choice is better than this. 

  


Then I saw something at the far corner of my vision, a light, a small white light. I have to get to it, whether It is heaven or hell, I will.

  
  


The real folks blues...

  
  


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Well how did you like the fic? Was it good? =^^=

  


Just Kidding! There is one more chapter left but then it's actually over *sob* (people all over the world cry and hold candles)

  


To all my reviews who like Vicious, he didn't die by falling off the building, but I wouldn't get my hopes up =^^= I hope it wasn't too OOC or sappy, but I feel like it needed to be.

  


In other news my V/F *Betrayed by You* is released and got SIX reviews!!! this fic didn't get a single review the first chapter so I have high hopes for the VF one *^^*! Please R and R to that too okay!!!!!

  


Anyway a love all my reviews *thanks a bundle to all* I will respond to reviews and put out the last chappy at the same time like the last time. I might even respond to the reviews I get the last chappy too, it depends how hectic my life is. 

  
  


hey and it's the second to last chapter so please just review for old times sake would ya??

  


~your ff buddy L.O.H. 

  



	16. Reincarnated Reality

*people throw tomatoes* Yes it took me FOREVER to update Gomen Nasai! This is the last chappie! I hope you like it this was kinda hard to write but I think I did I pretty good job. I will respond to reviews depending on how many I get.

Ok lets get the show on the road! *^^*

**Reincarnated reality**

            I walk tirelessly to the light, it seems to take forever, yet at the same time an instant; the close I get the closer those irritating noises are. I finally take a deep breath and shove myself into the light as hard as I can. I am ready for whatever is at the end.

Bleeep……bleeep….bleeep…bleep…bleep… bleep. 

"Faye…Vicious……Julia…"

Bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip.

"Oh my god Venice, Venice! He's waking up finally, come quick!" My thoughts can barely register those words as a language as I try hard to pray that I am not in a hospital. I knew I was; however, I can feel the itching tingle of the IVs and the hospital equipment bleeping whenever you move a single millimeter. Damn.

            I open my worn out eyes only to see a nurse, who is probably in her early thirties with short brown hair and gray eyes, looking down at me smiling with her pink lipstick painted lips topping her black syndicate uniform. I don't have time for her, but I do need to ask her some questions.

"Where exactly am I?" I mutter as I straighten my stiff body into an upright position, cracking my joints to try to figure out if they hurt or not. They didn't. I saw the nurse's smile weaken only a bit as she opened her mouth.

"I am Sheryl and you are in the intensive care unit at the Serpento hospital." She smiled as she injected me with something, I don't know what really, it's kinda hard to see in here, there are no windows and the room is very sparse and gray, I knew right off that the Serpento hospital was one controlled by the Syndicate, it even smelled like it. 

"Faye…Faye Valentine did she survive? Is she alive, tell me now." I state bluntly, I am not one to beat around the bush, I have waited long enough. I need to know if she came out all right at the end of that war like I did. I bite my lip as she sighs.

"Why do you mean Faye Spegiel, Purple hair, green eyes? Yeah she is doing fine in fact the other nurse, Venice, is calling her right now and she is going to come by." Sheryl smiled as I let a small grin appear on my lips, Faye with my last name, it doesn't sound like something real. Then I experimented I pinched my self, and a small twang of pain shot up my lower arm.

This is real, not the past. I woke up!

"You know Mr, Spegiel she comes by everyday for two hours waiting for you to get up, you took a while too, but no worries! Your injuries were very substantial; being in a coma for a year would not surprise me." Sheryl readjusted some instruments and took some notes as she smiled at me. 

"I was asleep for a YEAR." I blinked as I felt my jaw drop a little, everything seemed like it happened ten minutes ago, yet… I guess, a lifetime ago. I replayed the fight scene over in my head, Vicious falling down .I caught him. Julia shot Faye. Julia shot me. I shot Julia. I held Faye.  I fell asleep. I woke up…from everything. The past seems so broken now, like pieces of shattered glass thrown away into a dumpster never to be thought of again.

            I don't want to think of the past again, I woke up, I'm starting over, but not alone, at least I hope not. Yet I don't feel complete, I feel like I need something…no not a cigarette, I need Faye. I miss my shrew.

"Ya, but you are alive, and so is she, she told us so many stories about the two of you, how you met, bounty hunting, and especially the last week or two before you ended up here. It sounded so romantic and all…" Sheryl rambled on about something or another as I looked at the clock, 5:54 am, Faye is going to kill me for waking up this early; she likes to sleep in. I inwardly chuckle. I have nothing to do really but count down the minutes till she arrives.

Ironic, me waiting, but I don't mind at all.

"Sheryl, Faye and her friends are coming soon!" Venice almost squealed in delight as she ran into the room. Sheryl smiled and bit her bottom lip trying to restrain herself from squealing too. Man where did the syndicate find _these_ women…they must be desperate.

"Hey…um you two, there was another man with me what happened to him." I did not want to say his name directly, after all this is a Syndicate owned hospital. I really didn't care one way or another if he lived or not, I just wanted an answer.

"Uh…errr…our late leader, Vicious. Well he wasn't as lucky, he—" Venice choked back a lump in her throat "He died at the scene of the fight. Shin was not too happy about that, but once he figured out you were alive he started to cheer up a bit. He couldn't be depressed and all, being the leader of the Syndicate." Venice sighed as she looked at me, so Shin is the leader now that Vicious is dead. Shin the leader of the Syndicate, I wouldn't expect him to be so, but I guess it makes sense, the elders do like him. The elders were not too crazy about Vicious, I really don't think anyone was. Not even Shin…until the very end. At the end, Vicious had mine and Shin's alliance 

            I wonder if Vicious left Shin that position, I know Shin was an elite class, but was he really second in succession? I guess I'll never know. I really don't pity Vicious for dying, if he were to die, he would be fighting, that is his style. I wish he could have lived though, it would be kinda cool to see him lying in a coma instead of me; he is probably laughing at me right now. Damn Vicious, ya know for a cold unemotional bastard, he was a hell of a good fighter. I respected him during that battle, he didn't loose his cool once. Now, don't get him wrong, he was no hero or martyr, I think he'd rather commit suicide than to die for a cause. I nearly laugh out loud. I wonder if he made it to heaven? I don't think halos suit him, although I think he'd drive the devil crazy…

            I look back at the clock…5:59am…God do I hate clocks, pompous like they know everything just because they can tell time and you cant. I was about to fall back asleep when an ecstatic Sheryl nearly flip flopped back into the room and looked toward Venice and I.

"She is here Venice! Mr. Spiegel your wife is here!" Sheryl yelled. Venice squealed back as her blue eyes twinkled as she pushed back her curly red hair. She looks younger than Sheryl, mid twenties maybe, she actually is kinda cute, but not as pretty as Faye, besides, I bet Faye could kick more ass than she could.

            I soon felt foolishly nervous…What if she didn't love me anymore, I mean a lot can happen in a year. What if she never wanted to see me again…what if—Screw it! Ya know I guess I will find out when she comes here. I mean, I hope to God she still loves me. My thoughts were cut short as Faye moved into sight, illuminating the dull gray room into a million facets of color like a stained glass window. Her velvet hair had grown the slightest bit and it was no longer restrained in a hair band, but allowed to sway freely as she entered the room. She no longer is wearing her vinyl yellow outfit, but tight dark blue jeans and a yellow halter top. Her emerald eyes still sparkled illustriously, like two gem stones set into perfect ivory. Her painted red lips were slightly parted as we looked at each other.

My shrew angel.

"Hey there cowboy." She grinned as she crossed the room and threw her arms around me and I hugged her back graciously. She fit too perfectly into my arms, her skin too perfectly smooth. I couldn't do a thing but hold her back as I felt wetness land on the back of my neck. She is crying.

"Hey don't cry over me." I chuckle as she pulls away so I can see her face. I brush away an errant strand of velvet from her slightly damp cheek. As an afterthought I brush my lips against hers. She smiles a pretty, innocent smile, the very rare Faye smile that you couldn't ever paint correctly or even capture on the TV, this smile is too exquisite.

"Don't flatter yourself…I just cant belie—you… woke up so darn early in the morning!" She smirked her eyes glistened as her thoughts were cut off by a screaming Edward flying haphazardly into the room followed by a cursing Jet and a barking dog, did they really have to bring EVERYONE here? Aw well, hey did Jet loose more hair?  The two nurses, either realizing that we need our privacy, or Ed scared them, quickly left the room smiling slightly.

"Hey sleeping beauty, so finally woke up didn't you?" Jet grinned as he sat down in a bent up metal folding chair. I felt myself grin as I looked at my long time friend.

"Yeah I must have been asleep for a while, you lost a lot of hair." I smirked as his eyes narrowed and his mouth turned into a frown, muttering a few choice words under his breath. As I was about to get out of this horrible hospital bed, Ed prevented my attempt by jumping on me, almost knocking the wind out of me.

"Spike-Spike is up is up is up, wakie wakie eggs and bakie!  EdhaswaitedsoooolongforspiketowakeupEdthoughtEdwasgoingtoexplode!" I didn't really catch the last half of what she said, Ein, Faye and Jet were astonished by the mere fact that Ed could say so much in one breath, it was kinda scary. I blinked.

"Uh sure Ed…hey Faye how did I end up in a _syndicate hospital anyway?" I picked up Ed by the collar of her shirt and placed her on the ground where she and Ein started to play 'maypole' with the IV stand. I look over to Faye and in her emerald eyes flash a multitude of emotions as she smiled and opened her silk lips to speak._

"When I took Shin to the hospital he gave me his comm. link to call for backup-" Shin and his back up troops… "And I remembered that I had it after you lost consciousness so I dialed the number and managed to tell them where we were and that Vicious was hurt. I somwhow found enough strength to stay conscious long enough for the backup to arrive, They went to Vicious first…but he said something and they turned, saluted, and came towards me and that's when I blacked out." Now that is something new, never before have I heard of a leader being saluted when he was dying, it was unheard of. Dying was a weakness,_ never _saluted_ for. Especially for a leader that was not that popular._

Unless…he gave his life…then they would salute.

            She hugged me again in a warm embrace before I had a chance to ponder the meaning of Vicious' death further, I didn't mind much at all. I ran my fingers through her velvet hair. She kissed me lightly on my neck as I took her feel in. I removed the IVs and all the other probes out of my arm, much to the disgust of Jet and Faye as they saw me take needles from my body as if it was nothing. Faye steadied my loosely as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, standing up wobbly.

"Hey Spike take it easy you just woke up ya know." Jet cautioned as he grabbed Ed, who was holding Ein. Ein and Ed both barked out loud. Ed bit Ein causing the dog to drop and run down the corridor with Ed soon chasing it out the door, much to the dismay of Jet and the nurses. Jet muttered another set of choice words as he huffed and ran to catch up to Ed and Ein who were in pursuit by half a dozen syndicate members.

"Uh, see ya Jet!"  I look back towards Faye who shrugged and took my hand and held it; I grinned.

"Mr Spegiel, here your clothes." Venice handed me my old blue suit with yellow T shirt. I quickly slid my pants on and took off the hospital robe and put on my shirt. 

"C'mon Mrs Spegiel." I chuckled as she turned a tomato red and jabbed me in the side playfully. Our fingers laced discreetly as we walked out the dank hospital room down the corridor. I looked at her, strong, yet beautiful at the same time exactly as I had remembered her. As we walked down the narrow corridor we passed Sheryl and a man writing down notes and paperwork. I really hope Shin foots my hospital bill, and doesn't mind that I just decided to up and leave, although he should be expecting so. Faye looked up and smiled at me as we pushed the elevator button.

"Faye…I…am really hungry." I smirked as my stomach grumbled, her eye brows furrowed and her mouth got into a small little 'o' as she stomped into the elevator. I guess she wanted me to say something romantic. I chuckle inwardly and follow her into the elevator. She subconsciously adjusts her halter top, her eyes flash over to me. She caught me staring at her, darn it.

"What?" She asks simply as I narrow the gap between us. I then put my hand to her cheek feeling a small warm tingling sensation ripple through my body. I lean down slowly and kissed her hungrily on her lips, taking her by surprise. Her jaw lowered in a surprise gasp as I plug my tongue thirstily in. I reminded myself of her sweet strawberry taste and smell as I ran my tongue over hers, in her mouth. I raked my hand gently through her hair as my other hand went up the back of her shirt. After running my tongue around her mouth one last time I pulled away as the elevator reached the ground floor, leaving Faye the slightest bit breathless. 

            We left the hospital through the automatic doors and we found ourselves walking along a vaguely familiar part of town. I look around us to see we are the only ones on the sidewalk, a few cars drive by as night slips away into the day revealing a divine sunrise complete with saffron and vermilion and indigo and the fiery sun just waiting to ablaze into the horizon. It would be complete too if Faye were smiling.

"Faye, lets start over, lets go away for a little while. Let's…actually start to live." I murmur quietly as I try to figure out if Jet and Ed are around or not. She turns to me and frowns slightly as hurt washes over her face like a watercolor painting. Did I say something wrong? Why is she looking at me like that? 

"What's wrong Faye, tell me." I push back a strand of velvet from her face as she struggles to find words to say. I put my hands on her shoulders and look into her conflicting eyes. She lifts up the right side of her shirt, the side I remember she got shot on and I saw a few fading bullet scars. I felt my heart sink a little as I am harshly reminded that someone hurt her, a small ember of anger glowed. I now realized why she didn't wear her usual outfit, she wanted to cover the scars.

"Spike, we cant have a family…um when I was in Cryo freeze they said I had some birth complications, but nothing a little surgery couldn't fix. At the time I could care less, I didn't want a family. One of the bullets that hit me, however, made it so that the surgery will be 'too risky'. I am sorry Spike, I cant have kids." She didn't cry, she just frowned in anguish, apparently she thought she let me down. I look back into her emerald depths and smile as I softly move my lips up against hers, slipping my tongue in and out quickly, but smoothly.

"Faye it is alright, I really don't think I am…um ready for kids any way." She smiled slightly "Besides, we can always adopt Ed." I smirk as she punches me in the shoulder and I laugh out loud in spite of myself. My past consequences have taken something from me, my future. I got too caught up in the past and this is the result, I have only the present. Which with Faye, is never a bad thing, but I could give Faye so much more if we really could have a kid. But I would think about the road I cant even take, I wont get caught up in that. I will be happy with my angel, even if she is a cheating, gambling shrew with a six million dollar bounty.

            I take Faye by the waist and twirl her about like an elegant ballerina, I don't really give a damn who sees. Her lips curl up into a smile as she laughs with her velvet hair swirling about her in a maelstrom of violet. I pull her in close to me as I put her down I realize why this street is so familiar, I see the florist store, where I got the last rose and it is open.

"Faye just hold up, I'm gonna get you something." I smirk as I walk towards the florist. I wonder which color I should get…or even if I have enough woolongs for one…which rose will I even get?She deserves each and every one.

"Spike, I'm coming too, just to make sure you actually get a good flower and not a weed." I grin as her fingers intertwine with mine. I motion for her to look up as the sun peaks over the gloomy cityscape illuminating it in a fiery blaze. Everything looks alive with vibrant flush tints of gradient color. This is one of the few times I have seen this city sunny, and it is really cool looking. Birds fly silently through the ornate painted sky as I wrap my arms around warmly her slender, yet full body. Light bounces off of her ivory skin as her emerald eyes twinkle with a mirthful hue. To think this might be just a coincidence, but the first time this city is sunny is when I am with Faye.

            Then something flashed, a plaque. The city plague in all of its bronze glory on the side of an old brick building gleams in the sunlight.  I look at the engraving of the plague, although it was far away, I remember now what it says, I've read it once before. Now I remember the name of this city, and why it is named so. This is Neo Los Angeles. It was named like the old Los Angeles because the old founder of the city lost his teenage daughter in a gate accident and named this city after her. To think it took me so long to find peace in a place called 'city of angels'. 

Go figure. 

            I swiftly take Faye's hand as we walk into the florist and the old woman with her wisdom wrinkles, smiles at me.  I notice that the flower shop looks repainted, but what I didn't notice are the roses that she is holding behind her back, one yellow rose, one pink rose, one pure white rose and a crimson red rose bud. 

_When the roses bloom,_

_I see you, and I smile._

_For I am a veteran,_

_Home after a long war.___

_And I realize now,_

_Roses are so beautiful._

FINE!

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Well what did you think? I had so much fun writing this fic and most of it is from the reviews that you guys gave me.  I know the last line of the story was a little weird, but I really didn't want to kill off vicious, but I had to. I wanted the ending to be bittersweet, I didn't want it necessarily to be 'happily ever after' because Spike did have to pay the consequences for his actions ya know! I cant believe this fic is over already…but at least I have another going so it wont be too bad. 

Oh…and incase you really didn't understand the whole vicious dying thing, vicious knew he was going to die so he just pretty said 'save them' OOC but Vicious did have a revelation of somesorts…*sighs* I need a break…

And the city, well I have no idea where Faye lived on earth or her real name, so the city is named after her. Not that name of the city was her name or where she lived but in my fic her father thought of Faye as an angel. If that makes no sense…sorry but it is my ficcie Mhahaha XD

Well I'd like to thank all reviewers and readers! You really do help the story move on, Every review is important to me and I think each one is super-duper! *loves those elementary school adjectives*

If you review a lot in this chappie I will respond, but I might not, it will depend, I am short on time. I realized that ff net is now not allowing chapter ANs…which I find kinda strange I mean, what is wrong with them, it makes everything more convenient for me….*sigh* oh well….

ARIGATO for reading and reviewing!!!!! Check out my other fic if you are bored *^^*

R&R

                                                ~your ff buddy L.O.H.!


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